ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Thursday, September 26, 1996 TAG: 9609260008
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MADELYN ROSENBERG STAFF WRITER
WE WANTED TO HELP DI FIND A NEW GUY. Recently, on the eve of the royal divorce, we asked Western Virginia's men how they would treat a princess - Princess Diana of Wales, specifically. We promised to send the top five letters on to Kensington Palace. It happens that Diana's stateside right now, but there's no spot in her itinerary for a Roanoke-area visit - and the letters are on the way to London anyway. If we hear any response from the Mother Country, we'll let you know. Maybe she'll be back soon!
HERE are a few of the reasons Princess Diana of Wales should consider a date with Buchanan's Dewey Broughman:
He looks good, either dressed up or in old clothes.
He "still can make new kids."
He's considering a run for president in 2000.
He can fix almost anything.
And, as of right now, "I'm broke, and she has plenty."
Broughman drafted his list at our request for letters on how Western Virginia's single men would woo the now-single princess. He also sent us his resume. Good work experience, good life experience.
But somehow we worried that Diana wouldn't find the "broke/plenty" reason especially romantic. And we fretted that she perhaps wasn't in the market for someone with such high political aspirations, which would thrust her again into the glaring eye of the media.
Broughman's intentions, however, sounded completely honorable, and so we will give him an honorable mention when we send our five favorite letters on to Kensington Palace.
Diana's would-be wooers want her to see the very best of Western Virginia, they wrote in impassioned, eloquent epistles that contained not a hint of cologne. They spoke of long drives on the parkway, hikes in the mountains, and the soothing music of Engelbert Humperdinck on the stereo.
Salem's Wayne Shank was particularly charming; we were convinced of his strength of character by the picture he enclosed: it shows him standing next to his Aunt Sarah, just before Christmas.
We'll have to forward his letter to the continent air-express, though - Shank says the best time for the princess to visit the Blue Ridge Mountains is in the next week or so. "The leaves will be turning," he penned. "Hardly a better time to enjoy the trip. We could start the week at Smith Mountain Lake and enjoy some quiet time - sunning and boating at a boat house named 'Our Place.'''
He likes to cook, he wrote, "and [I] love to eat good steak."
The pair would end the week at his rustic cabin in Floyd County, hiking distance to streams and waterfalls. "Must close for now and you must come and see us soon."
How could Bedford's Gregory Ballengee be a perfect match for Princess Di?
"Let us count the ways," he wrote. He's a 6-foot-3 DWM with no kids but two golden retrievers. He's educated and gainfully employed (at Winn's Precision in Lynchburg).
The rest of his note was sheer poetry - literally.
"Travel, music, outdoor play are the norm
Laughter, friendship and smiles make life warm.
Sunrise and sunset, a cool breeze to stir your thoughts
Remind us why the best in life can't be bought."
Ballengee talked of a white limousine (rented) and roses, champagne and pizza for the princess. After all, "she'll be famished after a long flight," he wrote.
Following a restful night of good food, wine and conversation, he would take her sight-seeing on Smith Mountain Lake in his new speedboat.
"The Cliffs, Goat Island and the 'What About Bob House' are musts," he said. "An evening of dance at the Bridge Club would preclude a romantic star-filled midnight cruise to our condo. The rest is, as they say, to be determined."
And so it is.
Tod Owens of Marion has plans to woo and win Diana through a day of "new and familiar experiences that the Lady would Di for.
"My dating Di-orama would be full of ways in which the Princess could forget her woes (and Wales) and really let down her heir I mean hair."
Plans include teaching the princess the Macarena, playing her some of that pop music she likes so much (with "nothing by Queen, Prince, the Kingsmen or Lindsey Buckingham''). They'd watch television, too, and perhaps buy a "shiny crystalline diamonelle" off the Home Shopping Network in case "she wants to spruce up the old tiara."
Owens also offers his cellular phone as an instrument for making prank calls to Prince Charles. "What more could a princess want?" he asks.
What more indeed?
Troutville's Jerome Lovell said he would "gladly slay Princess Diana's dragons." He would take her straight to the top of Mill Mountain upon his silver steed (motorcycle) where they "would share inner thoughts and feelings on all that is while gazing on a mystical sunset, in hopes of catching the moon rise up to kiss the night sky and dance with Venus and the Constellations."
We think that speaks for itself.
And finally, J.R. Randall of Collinsville seems to have some extra credentials that would make him a suitable match.
"I am very humble and wouldn't like to boast of being handsome," he wrote, "but I have dated a woman who was in a Virginia beauty pageant.
"I am also very good with children, which I feel is very important. I have been involved in counseling with women with eating disorders and carry a greater knowledge of this condition than most people do, and am very sensitive to this fact."
Randall has seen Princess Di from afar for years, he said. "I never felt that the marriage between yourself and Prince Charles would be successful because you are two entirely different people," he wrote.
Were the princess to have time for a nice, quiet dinner so they could get to know each other better, he would graciously accept.
"With Utmost Sincerity, J.R. Randall."
LENGTH: Long : 120 lines ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO: 1. ALAN KIM/Staff. Wayne Shank of Salem at the familyby CNBcabin next to Goose Creek in Floyd county: Besides providing a
rustic retreat, he also cooks a great steak. 2. ERIC BRADY/Staff.
Greg Ballengee wants to take the princess for a spin on Smith
Mountain Lake: But first, a white limousine (rented) and roses,
champagne and pizza; after all, "she'll be famished after a long
flight." 3. ERIC BRADY/Staff. Jerome Lovell would take Diana on his
motorcycle to see the stars from atop Mill Mountain: They'd "share
inner thoughts and feelings on all that is while gazing on a
mystical sunset, in hopes of catching the moon rise up". 4. Wayne
Shank with his Aunt Sarah: Maybe Princess Diana will have a chance
to meet her, too. 5. Princess of Wales. color.