ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, October 6, 1996 TAG: 9610070110
SECTION: BUSINESS PAGE: 2 EDITION: METRO
DATELINE: CHICAGO
SOURCE: Workplace
CAROL KLEIMAN CHICAGO TRIBUNE
This correspondence is edited, and some details have been changed to protect identities.
Reader: When I read about how harmful it is to women to be called ``girls,'' I knew just what you were talking about.
I'm retired now, but I was once known as ``the girl.'' I politely and good-naturedly told my boss, ``I'm older than you are, so I could hardly be a `girl.''' He referred to me thereafter as ``the lady in the office.'' That was hard to take, too, but better than ``girl.''
Today, I advise my daughters, who also work in offices, not to stand for that term.
I also tell them they are not obligated to laugh at off-color jokes or profanity. I never did. I simply told offenders I had heard unfunny dirty jokes and profane words before, they could not shock me and it was immature to try.
I ultimately was treated with respect and worked at that job for 14 years. When I retired, they said they hated to see me go and that I had taught them a lot about how to treat women at work.
Comment: Good for you for taking the stand you did and for making sure your daughters do the same. It's one small step for womankind.
* * *
Reader: Perhaps because my wife trained me so well when I was much younger, I am a man who finds it grating to hear anyone, man or woman, use the term ``girl'' to describe a woman.
I work for an advertising agency, and using the word ``girl'' is the kiss of death here in a job interview. Rightly or wrongly, misuse of the word has become one of the cultural indicators that tells us much more about a candidate than she or he ever can imagine at the time.
Comment: The use of sexist or racist terms should rule out the job candidate. Congratulations to you for doing so - and for having such a good wife.
* * *
Reader: I think it's wonderful for working parents to be able to have their small children with them at work. But I wonder, would a steel mill find it charming to wait while someone ties her child's shoe? You also wrote about a retirement home where workers may bring their children, and I wonder how it works. I find most older people have little patience with noise and active children.
I do appreciate that some companies are finding answers to the need for workers to take care of their families.
Comment: The typical work site no longer is the steel mill: Ninety percent of all jobs created are in the service sector, not manufacturing. Though garment manufacturing companies were among the first to establish child-care centers, companies that provide services can more easily accommodate family responsibilities on site - if they want to.
As for the retirement home I mentioned, it doesn't allow children near its clients unless invited.
* * *
Reader: You are brave to challenge Gen. Carol Mutter, a three-star general in the Marines who says that if women behave ``properly,'' they won't be sexually harassed.
I've had the ``experience'' of being date-raped and also being sexually harassed by the CEO of a major corporation. These events happened more than 20 years ago, and my only response at the time was tears and a feeling of great frustration because there was no possibility of closure through legal processes.
Perhaps Mutter doesn't understand because she hasn't been a victim. But what a terrible price to pay to become ``enlightened.''
Comment: Thanks for telling it as it is.
LENGTH: Medium: 74 linesby CNB