ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Wednesday, December 18, 1996 TAG: 9612180019
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: BEN BEAGLE
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
A friend of mine, who has enough money to worry about stocks and bonds and commodities and stuff like that, leaves clippings of The Wall Street Journal in my mailbox.
Sometimes I wish he wouldn't. Especially this close to Christmas.
Intel Corp., the Journal reports, is trying to get auto makers to put personal computers in their cars.
These are not the kind that would allow you to key in the proper code, press enter and your Subaru would automatically take you to downtown Blacksburg in a snowstorm.
They are more dangerous than that. More dangerous, probably, than your average air bag.
Let's put it this way, you wouldn't give one to your Aunt Zelda no matter how desperate you are with only six days to shop.
(Incidentally, I think people who have waited this long to shop are the dregs of society. What you ought to do is shop with 800 numbers. Just dial these numbers and give your credit card number to perfect strangers named Judie and Amanda and Bob. This involves a little stress waiting for the UPS truck to come, and Uncle Maynard may not like his three-color parka that is too tight around the chest, but it's a good way to get it done.)
These computers give you games, phones and access to the Internet while you're at the wheel.
This is supposed to do away with travel boredom and lead to really serious accidents on the highway.
Let's say you're taking the family down to Ocean Isle, N.C., on this vacation you really can't afford.
The presence of the computer will certainly do away with boredom, and you can ignore the children asking if you're there yet.
You won't get there because you'll be checking your e-mail and won't see the big semi headed north.
My 1969 Ford station wagon didn't have a computer as we headed south on U.S. 220 - with three kids in back, sedated to some extent by motion-sickness pills.
I watched the road a lot, but with this car you did have to keep checking to make sure the temperature was all right - which was not as much fun as playing on the Internet, but a lot safer. If we'd had computer games, I'd have aborted the beach trip at or about Boones Mill.
Anyway, I suggest that you idlers who are still shopping go somewhere and buy some quilts.
Whenever the 800 numbers fail me, I buy quilts. People who get them gush and sigh even if they have three still in the box from last Christmas.
LENGTH: Medium: 54 linesby CNB