ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, December 23, 1996 TAG: 9612230098
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: C-1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: A Cuppa Joe
SOURCE: JOE KENNEDY
The walls of Erik Ranberg's apartment are covered with maps depicting miles of cable television lines in Bedford and Botetourt counties.
Since late September, Ranberg and his two employees have been walking beneath those lines and tracing their routes on maps for a company in Colorado.
They're helping the cable industry prepare for the fiber-optic revolution.
"The big corporate battle is whoever gets the fiber in the air first wins," Ranberg says. His maps will be used in system redesign and standardization.
Maps give us clear paths. They point out landmarks and natural obstacles. This makes the world look manageable. The effect is soothing.
`I'll be your mommy'
In a sense, the lack of a map figured prominently in Erik Ranberg's mood one afternoon in November. He had been through the demanding process of starting his small mapping business - the legal, financial and other hurdles that people complain about when they're trying to get an enterprise going.
There was a problem with the contract he was working under, and there was an essay in the editorial pages of The Roanoke Times that rubbed him the wrong way.
Christopher Slone, a writer from Virginia Beach, had written amusingly about "the Madonna Phenomenon," the longing for parenthood among celebrities including Madonna, lesbian singer Melissa Ethridge and even Michael Jackson, who had announced the pregnancy of a longtime friend (now spouse).
Those longings had captured us all, Slone said. As evidence, he cited Bill Clinton's remark from the 1992 presidential campaign: "I feel your pain." That, Slone said, translated to "I'll be your mommy."
And that, he said, is what we're looking for.
To which Ranberg, a 27-year-old ex-Marine, replied in an essay of his own, "What America needs is a swift kick in the hindquarters."
He might as easily have said, "America needs a map." His map, of course.
What's with this guy?
At his keyboard that Sunday, Ranberg blamed baby boomers for "all this whiny foulness" - draft dodging, spitting on soldiers, forming labor unions, seeking government support, overusing credit, abusing the right to sue and filing record numbers of divorces and bankruptcies. Everything except bad weather and cancer, it seemed.
He accused them of spoiling their children and creating a directionless GenerationX.
And he said he couldn't wait for the boomers to die in the streets, their Social Security system long bankrupt.
This bilious display brought responses from people who both agreed and disagreed with him.
It made this boomer wonder, "Who is - and what's with - this guy?"
So I went to see him.
Ranberg lives in an apartment complex off Garst Mill Road. The space looks temporary because he and his workers will finish their job in January and head for some other state.
We sat at a small table and talked about his tirade, which he graciously described as poorly written, overly negative and "very generalized."
He was surprised it got printed. He thought someone would laugh at it and throw it away. But he defended it. His philosophy isn't finished, but he believes in it fervently. It is, in a word, independence, not dependence.
Ranberg grew up in Harrisburg, Pa., joined the Marines after high school and reads biographies of world leaders. Richard Nixon (determination) and Jimmy Carter (spiritual commitment) are his political heroes. He watches C-SPAN regularly.
Plainly, he is a serious person who is dissatisfied with the state of the nation. Plainly, he would like to impose his views on the world. And plainly, the world will not cooperate.
It never does. We all have to make our own maps.
That's the difficulty of living. And the joy.
What's your story? Call me at 981-3256, send e-mail to kenn@roanoke.infi.net, or write to P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke 24010.
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