ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Thursday, December 26, 1996 TAG: 9612260082
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Beth MAcy
SOURCE: BETH MACY
'Twas the day after Christmas
when all through the home
not a leftover remained,
not a single dry bone.
The stockings lay flat;
after the daylong gift fest.
Then the 2-year-old shouted,
``But where are the rest?''
The playhouse he'd gotten
(finished late Christmas Eve -
our glue guns at the ready,
felt stuck to our sleeves)
now slouched in the corner:
broken shutters, broken door;
an 80-dollar dust bunny
not even yet paid for.
Then I, feeling bloated,
lay frazzled and frail;
and thought of Martha Stewart,
her thank-you's in the mail.
When from the next room,
there arose such a clatter
I pulled a hamstring running
to see what was the matter.
My mild husband, Tom,
under the just-fallen tree,
through the tinsel and stars screamed:
``I've dislocated my knee!
Next year it's your turn;
You can take down the fir.''
Then the phone rang: from Ohio,
my mom (couldn't visit her).
I told her about Christmas:
all the gifts, a store buy-out.
Clothes, toys, a garden mattock ...
She shrieked, ``You'll put your eye out!''
I hung up, deflated,
but went on, unfettered:
to take down the greenery,
cards, the dreaded form letters.
I composted mistletoe
Boxed up wreaths and garland.
Hauled the tree to the curb.
Tom sighed, ``I think that's it, darlin'.''
Our little boy Max,
his blood-sugar finally waning
settled down for a nap,
without even complaining.
The house soon was spotless,
I went to bed for a nap.
No commitments, no makeup,
Finally - that's that.
Then just as I drifted into my sleep
My slumbering starting to get pretty deep
Tom called up the stairs,
waking me into a fright.
"My folks arrived early -
"And they're spending the night!"
LENGTH: Medium: 72 linesby CNB