ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, January 5, 1997 TAG: 9701060003
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-2 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
SOURCE: LAURA CLARK
Public responses to sexual assault allegations often contain skeptical reactions that go something like this: "If she had really been raped, then why did she...?'' Fill in the blank.
Unfortunately, many of these statements reflect a lack of accurate information about the way victims respond to being assaulted. People who have not been assaulted are often puzzled by the behavior of the victim.
As a licensed clinical psychologist, I have worked with many children and adults who have been sexually assaulted. I would like to clarify some of the reasons for certain of these puzzling behaviors. I am not commenting on the merits of any particular case, but rather on often-held public assumptions.
One issue is the victim's apparent lack of resistance to the assault. While some victims actively resist, others, even in the absence of physical threats, do not. Why?
Over and over, victims have told me: ``I froze''; ``I couldn't believe it was happening''; ``I said no, and when he wouldn't stop, I pretended I was somewhere else.'' Some people have indicated that when it became clear their protests would be ignored, they tried to tell themselves, ``It's not so bad.''
Afterward, however, they were devastated. When the perpetrator is someone the person knows and cares about, the violation of trust is overwhelming.
Some people are genuinely too shocked to react.
Of course, it also is possible to be too frightened to react. Even when overt threats are absent, the situation itself can feel life-threatening.
If you've been assaulted, why not call the police right away? Why the delays often seen in assault cases?
It is traumatic to have a sexual encounter without your consent. Some people's first thoughts are only to be safe and clean again. Most are well aware of how difficult prosecuting a rape can be for the victim, because of the type of evidence required and because of public reactions to rape.
Rape is different from other crimes in several ways. How often does a burglary victim have to think: ``Should I call the police now or not at all? Will they think I'm making this up to get attention? Will people believe it really happened but blame me, accusing me of having poor moral character?
``Can I stand going through an intrusive medical exam to prove I've been burglarized? Will people say I set the whole thing up and, in fact, gave my consent to be burglarized? Will it matter that I'd been drinking earlier this evening? Will my personal history be scrutinized and revealed during
the investigation process?''
With these questions to consider, sexual assault victims often have very reasonable qualms about initiating the investigation process.
Why do some victims appear to cooperate with their assailant after the attack? Also, why would anyone have continued, voluntary contact with his or her assailant?
These two reactions, although difficult for many people to understand, are common and have been observed in kidnapping victims as well as victims of rape.
Several factors can contribute to a victim's cooperation or continued contact with an assailant. Most obviously, rape is such a gross physical violation that victims may fear for their lives, even when not explicitly threatened. Cooperation then becomes a matter of physical survival.
Psychological survival is important, too. Sexual assault involves a tremendous loss of control and the destruction of basic assumptions - such as a sense of safety and reciprocity: If I treat you with decency and respect, you will treat me similarly.
When raped, people feel they were not treated as human beings. Cooperation and/or continued contact with the assailant often represent attempts to become human again in the eyes of the assailant, to mend the damage to basic assumptions and to preserve some sense of control, normalcy and safety. Such attempts may be especially strong when the assailant is known.
These coping attempts may not be effective, or even safe, but the motivations behind them are very human.
Sometimes the assailant is someone the victim has loved. It is possible to split the assailant psychologically into two parts: the loved one and the unsafe one. The victim continues contact because the loved one still provides some of the victim's physical and emotional needs. This is especially common when the victim has been periodically battered by the assailant or is a child.
In short, there are reasons sexual assault victims fail to call the police, fail to resist, and cooperate or continue contact with their assailants. These reasons may be difficult for the public to understand, but they do not mean there was no assault.
Given the prevalence of sexual assault, we must not remain ignorant of victims' experiences and needs.
Laura Clark is a licensed clinical psychologist and has practised in Blacksburg for nine years.
LENGTH: Medium: 88 linesby CNB