ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, January 6, 1997 TAG: 9701070126
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: BEN BEAGLE
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
I've never understood my regular television set and now the government is going to let us have digital television - which I could do without.
I didn't even know we had an analog set.
I don't even know what an analog is.
Thought we had just a plain old RCA.
It's the same old story: Nobody has been listening to me all these years I've been begging people and institutions to let things alone.
We already have mute buttons. What more do these people want?
Try money.
"What a terrific way to usher in the new year," Peter Wilmott told The Associated Press in reacting to the government's decision to go ahead with digital television.
Don't get me wrong here, Pete, but you're the president of an outfit that's going to produce these things. Right?
These digital sets will sell from $1,000 to $1,500 more than the ones we already have. That's more money than I've spent on television sets my entire life - including the 1954 black-and-white Philco.
That set was state-of-the-art with rabbit ears.
It was built on a swivel and it cost less than $200.
I watched John F. Kennedy's inauguration on it.
Those were the days before cable and foul-mouthed comics. Milton Berle may have done drag back in those days, but the jokes were clean.
To return abruptly to the present, I now wonder - not only about how a digital television set works - but about why we need these pictures with enhanced quality and better sound.
I don't think, for example, that all of these things would help Geraldo Rivera or Jenny Jones debase people any better than they do now.
I've seen "Grumpy Old Men" twice on my analog set and Ann-Margret's resolution looks all right to me. As for Sophia Loren in the sequel, "Grumpier Old Men," I don't think I could stand to see her any better in that red dress.
And I say right here that the suggestion these new sets could be made small enough to fit on wristwatches scares me pretty bad: "Yes, officer. I was watching Oprah when I rear-ended the semi and caused this 5-mile-long crash scene."
At first, there'll be two channels - one for analog and the other for digital transmissions - which means you won't have to trash your old set right away.
I guess that's because government and industry want to give you the time to round up that extra $1,500 for a set you don't want in the first place.
LENGTH: Medium: 54 linesby CNB