ROANOKE TIMES 
                      Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times

DATE: Sunday, January 19, 1997               TAG: 9701170029
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1    EDITION: METRO 

AT LAST, SOMETHING `PRACTICAL' INVENTOR JOHN SCHOFIELD PROVES HIS CREATIONS DO MORE THAN MAKE PRETTY MUSIC BALL MACHINE NO. 2 `JOHN CAN WATCH IT FOR HOURS. BUT HE'S NOT NORMAL.' BY MADELYN ROSENBERG STAFF WRITER APPS MILL - "AND ANOTHER THING," JOHN SCHOFIELD SAYS AS HE WADES THROUGH HIS CHILDREN'S BICYCLES TO A MACHINE ON THE FRONT PORCH OF HIS WHITE, RAMBLING SHOP. "HERE'S SOMETHING TO ANSWER THOSE CRITICS." AND WITH THAT, THIS MANDOLIN-MAKER, BLUEGRASS-PICKER, ENVIRONMENTAL ENGINEER AND SCULPTOR OF INTRICATE BALL MACHINES PULL-STARTS THE MOTOR ON HIS LATEST, MOST PRACTICAL CREATION: A GOLD-MINING MACHINE. TO BE EXACT, A GOLD SIFTER THAT SHAKES BACK AND FORTH LIKE A BELLY DANCER. CALL IT HIS REBUTTAL TO ANYONE WHO'S SHAKEN A HEAD IN DISBELIEF AT THE TIME AND MONEY HE'S PUT INTO HIS WHIZ-BANG, BALL-BOUNCING CREATIONS THAT COULD BELONG TO DR. SEUSS. TO PEOPLE "WHO NEVER THOUGHT THAT I'D MAKE SOMETHING PRACTICAL," SCHOFIELD SAID, SMILING. SURE, IT'S PRACTICAL - IF YOU LIVE IN MONTANA AND SPEND YOUR DAYS DIGGING FOR GOLD. BUT SCHOFIELD, WHILE HE DID LIVE IN MONTANA ONCE, NOW LIVES IN A 1922 ROCKBRIDGE COUNTY FARMHOUSE NESTLED BETWEEN HILLS AS TIGHT AS ACCORDION PLEATS. HE DOES NOT MINE FOR GOLD, THOUGH HE LOOKS A BIT LIKE A PROSPECTOR WITH HISWINTER-TIME BEARD. HE PLANS TO TEST HIS MACHINE BY FEEDING IT BUCKETS OF DIRT AND GRAVEL AND LETTING IT WEED OUT THE LEAD BULLETS HE'S SCATTERED ACROSS THE YARD DURING TARGET PRACTICE. GREG SANDAGE, A LEXINGTON JEWELER, SEES THE PRACTICALITY OF SUCH A MACHINE, "BUT NOT HERE, OF COURSE." HE TEASES HIS FRIEND STEADILY, HOWEVER, ABOUT THE BALL MACHINES, WHICH TAKE UP ONE BARN AND THE MAIN ROOM OF SCHOFIELD'S SHOP. "I'VE TOLD HIS WIFE SHE'S THE MOST PATIENT WOMAN IN THE WORLD," SANDAGE SAID. THE FIRST TIME HE SAW THE BALL MACHINE, A SERIES OF STEEL ANGLES AND CURVES AND LOOP-TO-LOOPS, "I THOUGHT IT WAS TOTALLY INSANE. I COULDN'T BELIEVE HE WAS PUTTING THAT MUCH MONEY AND TIME INTO SOMETHING SO COMPLETELY EXTRANEOUS." HOW MUCH MONEY? SCHOFIELD HASN'T COUNTED. HE SCAVENGES AND SALVAGES FROM YARD SALES AND JUNK YARDS AND BUYS NEW JOINTS AND SHAFT COLLARS WHEN HE NEEDS THEM. HOW MANY HOURS? HE HASN'T COUNTED THOSE, EITHER. HE STARTED BUILDING HIS SECOND BALL MACHINE, THE BIGGER-AND-BETTER ONE, A YEAR AND A HALF AGO, AFTER HE PUT THE FINISHING TOUCHES ON HIS FIRST, INSPIRED BY NEW YORK ARTIST GEORGE RHOADS. SCHOFIELD, A PENN STATE GRADUATE WHO MOVED TO VIRGINIA IN SEARCH OF A SIMPLER LIFE, IS JUST AS PROUD OF THE NEWEST "AUDIOKINETIC SCULPTURE" AS HE WAS OF THE ORIGINAL, WHICH BROUGHT HIM A DEGREE OF FAME, AT LEAST IN THIS RURAL COMMUNITY. HIS MACHINES HAVE EARNED HIM AIR TIME ON "WILLARD SCOTT'S HOME AND GARDEN ALMANAC" AND VIRGINIA PUBLIC TELEVISION. PARTIES HAVE BEEN THROWN IN HONOR OF THE CONTRAPTION, COURTESY OF THE MOST PATIENT WOMAN IN THE WORLD, DIANA MADSEN-SCHOFIELD. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CHILDREN HAVE VISITED THE FARM ON FIELD TRIPS. THE OLD MACHINE HAS TAKEN UP ITS SHARE OF DISPLAY SPACE AT THE STATE SCIENCE MUSEUM AND VIRGINIA MILITARY INSTITUTE. THERE ARE STILL A FEW KINKS TO BE WORKED OUT ON SCULPTURE NO. 2. WELDING GLOBS TO BE SANDED, CLUMPER DUMPERS TO BE ADJUSTED, SILVER RODS TO BE PAINTED. IN TIME, THEY WILL BE. "MY WIFE WON'T COOK WITH ALUMINUM ANYMORE, SO NOW I GET HER ALUMINUM POTS," SCHOFIELD SAYS AS HE LEADS A TOUR OF THE NEW MACHINE, AN 88-INCH-BY-88-INCH PUZZLE OF METAL, COGS, PULLEYS, LEVERS AND BELLS (BUT NO WHISTLES). TURN IT ON AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A BAND OF KIDS TRYING TO MAKE THEIR POT-AND-SPOON BAND HEARD OVER THE DIN OF A ROLLER COASTER. "GRANDMA'S OXYGEN TANK," SCHOFIELD SAYS AS A BILLIARD BALL WHIZZES BY AND PROMPTS THE REQUISITE CLANG. "WE TOOK IT. WHAT PRICE, ART?" THE OLD BALL MACHINE, IN RAINBOW COLORS AND LIVING, TEMPORARILY, IN SCHOFIELD'S BARN, COST AS MUCH AS $3,000 IN PARTS. HE RENTED IT OUT TO TWO SCIENCE MUSEUMS AND MADE THAT MONEY BACK, SO HE FIGURES HE BROKE EVEN, IF YOU DON'T COUNT THE HOURS HE PUT IN ON IT. (HE DOESN'T.) BUT IT'S THE NEW MACHINE HE'S FOCUSING ON NOW. HE POINTS TO A TRIUMVIRATE OF STREET SIGNS THAT SPIN AROUND AFTER A BILLIARD BALL CLACKS AGAINST THE APPROPRIATE LEVER. "IT TOOK AN HOUR TO MAKE THAT THING AND SIX DAYS TO GET IT TO WORK." HE POINTS OUT A TRANSMISSION FROM A RIDING MOWER, BARS FROM A XYLOPHONE, A MINITRAMPOLINE MADE OF WOOD AND BUNGEE CORDS, A CAN OF DON PEPPINO PIZZA SAUCE, A CREAM SEPARATOR. HE GAZES AS THE PARKING SIGNS ROTATE AROUND LIKE THE OCTOPUS RIDE AT A CARNIVAL, WHICH IS WHERE HE GOT THE IDEA FOR THAT PARTICULAR MECHANISM. "SOME PEOPLE ARE HYPNOTIZED BY THAT," HE SAID. MADSEN-SCHOFIELD MAKES OCCASIONAL SUGGESTIONS, THINGS SHE WISHES WOULD SPIN OR HOW NICE IT WOULD BE IF THE PENDULUMS WOULD SWING MORE OFTEN. MOST PEOPLE PROBABLY WOULDN'T WAIT AN HOUR FOR THAT TO HAPPEN, SHE SAID. SHE FIGURES A NORMAL PERSON WOULD SPEND ABOUT 15 MINUTES WATCHING THE MACHINE. "JOHN CAN WATCH IT FOR HOURS," SHE SAID. "BUT HE'S NOT NORMAL." THE MACHINE ISN'T PERFECT. EVERY NOW AND THEN, A BALL JUMPS OFF ITS TRACK AND LANDS ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR, BUT SCHOFIELD HAS TIME FOR FINE-TUNING. "DID YOU EVER MAKE PANCAKES?" HE ASKED. "UNTIL THE TEMPERATURE IS SET RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO TOSS THE FIRST ONE OR TWO OUT. IT'S LIKE THAT WITH ANYTHING YOU DO. MANDOLINS. YOU HAVE TO DO A COUPLE BEFORE YOU REALLY GET IT DOWN." THE NEXT TWO BALL MACHINES WILL PROBABLY BE READY FOR THE MARKETPLACE, HE SAID. AND HE HAS EXACTLY TWO MORE BALL MACHINES IN MIND. "THEN I'LL PROBABLY SWITCH GEARS," HE SAID. "MY WIFE IS HOPING I'LL FINISH THE HOUSE." ACTUALLY, MADSEN-SCHOFIELD IS HOPING HE'LL REPAIR THE HEATER ON ONE OF THE CARS AND THE ALTERNATOR ON THE OTHER - SOON, PLEASE. "HE GETS TOTALLY ENGROSSED," SHE SAID. IT IS THE ONLY DRAWBACK TO THE BALL MACHINES THAT SHE CAN SEE. HIS REGULAR JOB (HE'S AN ENVIRONMENTAL ENGINEER FOR THE STATE HEALTH DEPARTMENT IN LEXINGTON) AND HIS TINKERING (HE RECENTLY MADE HIS PICKUP TRUCK WORK LIKE A DUMP TRUCK) HAVE TAUGHT HIS FIVE CHILDREN A FEW THINGS ABOUT PATIENCE AND INGENUITY. BUT SCHOFIELD BELIEVES THAT ANYONE CAN BE INGENIOUS. "TELEVISION SPORTS ZAPPED A LOT OF AMERICA'S INITIATIVE," HE SAID. "PEOPLE COULD DO MORE COMPLICATED THINGS THAN I DO IF THEY DIDN'T WATCH COUNTLESS FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL GAMES." AT ANY RATE, MADSEN-SCHOFIELD SAID, THE CHILDREN NOW ASSUME THAT YOU CAN FIX ANYTHING THAT'S BROKEN. MADSEN-SCHOFIELD, A BLUEGRASS PLAYER WHO RUNS ROCKBRIDGE MUSIC, MET JOHN WHEN THEY BOTH LIVED IN MONTANA, WHERE HE INSPECTED GOLD MINES FOR THE STATE. "HE ALWAYS WANTED TO GOLD MINE," SHE SAID. HE SPOKE OF MINING EVEN EARLIER THAN HE SPOKE OF THE BALL MACHINES, BUT THESIFTER CAME SECOND - HE FINISHED IT IN SEPTEMBER AND PUT THE FINISHING TOUCHES ON IT IN NOVEMBER. RECENTLY, MADSEN-SCHOFIELD ASKED HER HUSBAND IF, NOW THAT THE MINING MACHINE IS COMPLETE, THE FAMILY WOULD BE REQUIRED TO GO DIGGING THROUGH THE CREEKBED IN THE DEAD OF WINTER, OR IF THE TASK COULD BE DELAYED UNTIL SPRING. "AND HE SAID, 'YOU KNOW, DIANA, WE MAY NEVER GO GOLD MINING. THIS IS JUST SOMETHING I WANTED TO BUILD.'''

LENGTH: Long  :  141 lines
ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO:  ERIC BRADY/Staff. 1. Audiokinetics in action: pool balls
          roll down a xylophone. 2. John Schofield has stored his first ball 
          machine (above) in his Rockbridge County barn while working on his 
          second creation. 3. Schofield's machines comprise thousands of 
          salvaged items, including an auger (above, right), which he painted 
          bright blue. 4. In Schofield's latest ball machine, balls roll 
          around a commercial-size wok. 5. Schofield's gold-mining sifter 
          (above) lies amid the clutter of his shop.  6. His first machine 
          (left) has been displayed at the state science museum and Virginia 
          Military Institute. color.