ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, January 20, 1997 TAG: 9701210023
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: BEN BEAGLE
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
There you go: Old Bennie passed over again.
No tuxedo for me or dancing at any of the 14 balls that will be held for Bill Clinton's inauguration.
It's always been that way. Teddy Roosevelt didn't invite me either.
I stayed home and watched Frank Sinatra sing to Nancy Reagan; which was all right because even at that distance it made me kind of sick.
I didn't hear Franklin D. Roosevelt's first inauguration. We were too poor to afford a radio.
I've totally forgotten what went on at George Bush's only inauguration except that I didn't get invited.
I do wish I had a piece of the $360,000 it took to build the inaugural platform. It would help with the Christmas bills.
That's enough money to buy a portion of Happy Highfields Road - which is not for sale in case anybody is interested.
When you get snubbed like that, you set up certain defenses. You start making fun of whatever or whosoever it was that snubbed you.
You compensate. You say I didn't want to put on a tuxedo and go dancing on a Monday night anyway. The last time I wore a tux was at my son's wedding. I looked like an unhappy moose in evening clothes.
You tell yourself you couldn't stay awake that late and you never know when Bill's going to drop in to blow his saxophone - whether anybody wants him to or not.
He should learn a decent instrument. Like the piano. Harry Truman was very good at the piano.
Listen. George Washington just barged right in on March 4, 1789, and started running the country. He and Martha didn't dance the night away, and I'm pretty sure he didn't play the saxophone.
They didn't get around to inaugurating him until April, and they did it on a New York balcony that was already built.
Frank Sinatra was nowhere in sight, and I'm fairly sure the press didn't make fun of Ms. Washington's hat. Actually, I don't even know if she was there.
Right after Andy Jackson's inaugural speech in 1829, the crowd trashed the White House and scarfed down all the inaugural goodies. The hero of the Battle of New Orleans had to escape through a window. If he had been a saxophone player, it might have been worse.
Anyway, I want Bill and Hillary to know that it's all right. I'll just think about how much it costs to rent a tux and wearing those shiny shoes that make you fall down a lot.
Bob and Elizabeth probably wouldn't have asked me either.
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