ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Thursday, January 23, 1997 TAG: 9701230002
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
TYPE: COMMENTARY
SOURCE: TIM GOODMAN KNIGHT-RIDDER/TRIBUNE
As any regular TV viewer will tell you, most advertising is horrible. Women ask why Madison Avenue can't come up with just one good feminine hygiene ad. Men will tell you that if someone at the local watering hole started singing ``Rocky Mountain High'' out loud, they'd be in the street. Almost everyone is sick of those stupid Duracell battery ads with the annoying plastic family.
Unfortunately for Hollywood, viewers can sometimes remember commercials better than some shows. Does anybody remember ``Mr. and Mrs. Smith'' on CBS? Probably not. But you probably remember every ad in the ``Got Milk?'' campaign.
Somehow - years of pain, perhaps - we're able to forget the bad ads quicker, and we're more grateful for the brilliant ones. Why is it, then, that something so lame as the ``Tap the Rockies'' ad for Coors Light remains on the air? (Coors, in fact, fails in almost all of its commercials.)
Not that competitor Bud doesn't give us mediocrity in droves. Those Bud frogs were funny once, maybe twice, but the campaign needs to be dissected immediately. And please, please - no more ``I love you, man'' ads. Ever. The Super Bowl is approaching. Can the Bud Bowl be far behind?
There should also be a lottery set up for the first person who can write down in one declarative sentence the exact premise of any Calvin Klein ad.
How about Jonathan Pryce - a quality actor - starring in those uppity Infiniti ads? And what is that masquerade party - complete with swan hat - all about?
Never mind. In a few weeks, many of these ads will be forgotten.
It's the best ads that we should celebrate. Often they contribute a dose of originality between lifeless, joke-free episodes of ``Married ... With Children'' and ``Mad About You.''
Here are some recent examples of advertising inspiration:
The Nissan ads. From whimsical (the baseball in the barn) to edgy (the eager meter maid), this campaign works. But the best ad in the bunch is the Barbie and G.I. Joe knockoffs zooming around to ``You Really Got Me.''
The Bud Ice ads with the eerie penguins. Particularly good is the car chase at night that ends with the little penguin in the back seat singing ``Dooby-dooby-doo,'' and freaking out the driver. Another Bud ad with promise is their born-on-dating theme, featuring San Francisco comedian Don McMillan trying to eliminate ``skunky'' beer.
Levi's Wide-Leg jeans campaign. The couple in the elevator daydreaming about what could be with the Partridge Family's ``I Think I Love You'' is wonderful. But the operating room scene with everyone singing ``Tainted Love'' is pure genius.
The Honda ``Simplify'' campaign for its cars. These three commercials are priceless. In one, a burdened office worker gets nothing but bad news (``Was that your daughter on `Hard Copy'?''). In another, a cowboy gets shot at while the townsfolk berate him for chores undone. This carries over to the final, best ad, where a '70s-inspired TV action scene unfolds. A bum says to the woman rushing for cover: ``You're outta Huggies, lady!''
The Energizer Bunny. After years of redundant and static ads, the ``Twister'' spoof featuring ``bunny spotters'' is a welcome, if late, reprieve.
Commercials about computers and on-line services are flooding the airwaves, but most of them fail miserably. (Just putting your Web address on the screen doesn't make us fall to our knees in praise.)
A few exceptions are the bleak apocalyptic vision of Packard-Bell (people standing in line - and aging - at the bank, etc.), the MCI ad about how the Internet is not biased about age or handicaps, race or gender, etc.; and the Microsoft campaign, which features excellent pop music and bright pop graphics.
But the most promising looks to be Lotus, which has resurrected the riffing of stand-up comic Dennis Leary (who is characteristically excellent) and brings Jack Webb's Joe Friday back to life. Nice work.
The HBO ads using a Jane Goodall stand-in and her pop-culture apes. Primates mouthing lines to ``The Godfather'' works every time.
The Snickers campaign. ``Not going anywhere?'' started slowly, but struck gold with three uproarious installments. First there's the ad about politically correct pre-game prayers (``Come on, shaman, hurry it up''), the football player who gets knocked silly and has a small discussion with his coach: (``Where are you?'' ``New York.'' ``Who am I?'' ``You're Coach.'' ``Who are you?'' Pause: ``I am Batman.'') And the old guy painstakingly painting the end zone for the Kansas City Chiefs, only to have a player say when he's finished: ``That's great, but who are the Chefs?''
Nike. What campaign? Pick one. No other company (except for ESPN and its own in-house promotions) has been so consistently brilliant. Nobody can touch Nike when it comes to advertising. Its campaign for women athletes is uplifting and inspiring. The re-creation of Vince Lombardi (using Jerry Stiller) is always fun to watch. The Li'l Penny campaign (a miniature toy that looks like Penny Hardaway and features the voice of Chris Rock) is always good for laughs. And the slow-motion ad featuring Michael Jordan driving to the basket is a minor work of art.
A new Nike commercial is almost more anticipated than a new episode of a favorite sitcom. It lasts longer and often has a bigger impact and more laughs. One day Fox will run Nike ads in a half-hour block and it'll dominate ``The Single Guy'' or some other show.
People complain all the time about commercials. And it's true that three-quarters of them fail to register, annoy us or simply provide time to get to the fridge. But thankfully, there are precious minutes that elevate the commercial to a higher level, one where entertainment, information and commerce joyfully co-exist.
LENGTH: Long : 110 linesby CNB