ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, January 31, 1997 TAG: 9701310022
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: FRIDAY SOMETHING
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
In an upcoming installment, we find out that: Ellington is Trace's real father; Byron and Trace, undercover CIA agents, are both in love with Marissa, who is really Trace's twin; Ellington, a co-conspirator in a failed land deal being investigated by the government, was formerly an CIA agent.
This is not ``As the Stomach Turns'' but ``Star Wars,'' '90s-style. The names have been brought down to Earth but the story hasn't changed much.
If George Lucas made ``Star Wars'' today, the cast list might read:
* Tom Cruise as Luke Skywalker.
* Demi Moore (minus the cheese Danish hairdo) as Princess Leia.
* James Earl Jones as Darth Vader (There's no other voice of doom like that one.)
* Brad Pitt as Han Solo.
* Sean Connery as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
* Hakeem Olajuwon as Chewbacca (the first Chewy was 7 feet 2 inches tall).
* Danny DeVito as R2D2 (he would have to talk).
* Any NFL offensive lineman as Jabba the Hutt.
* Bob Dole as Yoda.
* Denzel Washington as Lando Calrissian.
* The dancing M&Ms as the Ewoks.
And ``May the force be with you'' would be updated to ``You're touched by an angel. Just do it.''
LENGTH: Short : 35 linesby CNB