ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Tuesday, March 11, 1997 TAG: 9703110131
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: BETH MACY
SOURCE: BETH MACY
At the root of Ginger Boyce's problem lies this simple math:
Ginger weighs 90 pounds.
Her 10-year-old daughter, Jessica, weighs 97.
But the problem gets more complicated, more clouded:
Jessica has cerebral palsy and must be lifted from her wheelchair to go to the bathroom, to take a bath, to get into bed, to get in and out of the van.
And Ginger, her divorced mother, can no longer do the lifting. Her fingers are permanently clenched, a result of tendonitis and arthritis in her arms and hands. A result of lifting Jessica 15 times a day for nearly 10 years.
Her physician, Dr. Lyne Aigner, has told her: Stop lifting Jessica, or you'll become permanently disabled.
While a home-health aide lends her muscles three hours a day, before and after school, Ginger needs help on weekends. She worries about what she'll do during Jessica's upcoming 10-day spring break.
Minor problems become huge. When her 9-year-old son's lenses popped out of his glasses last week, Ginger hesitated to get them fixed - she dreaded lifting Jessica to make the trip to the optometrist.
When Jessica came down with a cold, Ginger prayed it wouldn't turn into a fever. She didn't want to take her to the doctor.
``I've become a negligent parent, and not out of choice,'' the 30-year-old says from her home in Rocky Mount. ``It breaks my heart to think I'm not what's best for Jessica.
``But at this point, I'm doing her and her brother a disservice, because I can't do the things they need done.''
`Just like an old man'
Gray Boyce is 9 years old and the man of the house.
He takes out trash, prepares microwave soup. He's had to give up rec-league sports and gymnastics because his mom can't take Jessica along to the games and lessons.
Still, he wants to do more. He tells me this casually, nonchalantly. He seems more interested in the two wrestling action figures who are duking it out in his hands.
``I can think of two things I can do that would help her, but she won't let me: the laundry and dishes,'' Gray says. ``She don't think I'm old enough to do it.''
Ginger worries about the effects of Jessica's disability - and her inability to cope with it - on Gray. He sees a therapist for anger problems, she says, ``and he told me Gray thinks just like an old man.''
Last month, she held a family meeting with her kids to talk about the problem. They cried and they prayed, and finally they concluded that Jessica will move to the Poindexter Home in Bedford. ``Because they can lift her and Mom cannot,'' Gray explains.
Asked how he feels about his big sister leaving home, he says: ``Kinda happy, kinda sad. Happy because she's always a pain to me. And sad because she's my sister and I hate to see her go.''
Without question, he's older than his years.
Searching for options
Once the decision was made, Ginger thought the hardest part was over. Then she learned that all the state Medicaid waivers for residential placements had been used this fiscal year.
Piedmont Community Services, which handles placements, has applied for an emergency waiver for Jessica, but it takes 60 to 90 days to go through; it's also contingent on matching funds from Franklin County. The home costs $40,000 a year.
When funds for weekend respite care also ran out, a few area churches began pitching in to pay for the $250 service. Piedmont likewise scrounged up funding for a couple extra weekends.
Ginger's not sure where to go next. To get immediate help, it's been suggested that she commit herself to a psychiatric ward, or relinquish parental custody of Jessica. She does not consider these options.
Meanwhile, she can't stop worrying about Jessica's spring break, which begins March 27.
While she's talking, Jessica rolls her wheelchair into the room, wheels right up to me and smiles. She fingers my earrings, touches my sunglasses, asks to hold my notebook.
When her mom suggests she return to the other room with her aide, Jessica smiles and calls her ``fussy pants.'' She says, ``You talkin' about me, I oughta hear what you have to say.''
She returns to her room and her myriad posters of Billy Ray Cyrus, whom she plans to marry.
She returns to her room, and her mom sighs, holding her achy wrists.
LENGTH: Medium: 88 lines ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO: (headshots) 1. Jessica Boyce. 2. Gray Boyce.by CNB