ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, March 16, 1997 TAG: 9703140014
SECTION: BUSINESS PAGE: 4 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: WORKING IT OUT
SOURCE: CAMILLE WRIGHT MILLER
Q: We established a mentoring program, rotating mentoring responsibilities among senior staff, with excellent results. New employees understand operations better and fit in more readily. Those who've been proteges are real success stories. Our next mentoring assignment goes to an individual who takes pride in not fitting in. There's debate about whether to respect that individual's place in the rotation. If we skip the expected rotation, how do we handle the "skipped" individual?
A: You want new employees to understand the company and ensure they make the transition from new hire to solid contributor. Guidance and direction are critical.
To entrust professional development to a difficult employee nearly guarantees a negative outcome. Probable outcomes include a disgruntled protege trained to view the organization with an equally jaundiced eye; an angered new employee looking for other employment opportunities; or an employee receiving advice that conflicts with his observations of respected employees - and wondering why the set-up for failure. That senior management would allow or promote those outcomes is contrary to their usual goals.
When faced with two separate, intertwined decisions, try untangling the issues. In this case, assigning a new employee to a solid mentor supports your mentoring goals and your company's mission. The second decision is how to handle a senior employee's expectations.
For new employees, make the best decision for them and the company - assign the best mentors.
For those who shouldn't mentor, consider assigning an equally challenging and valuable project. Ensure the project uses skills the employee has successfully utilized in the past. Take care, also, to make sure the project is meaningful to you, the company and the nonmentor.
Identifying such a project takes additional effort; however, the rewards for all department staff - new and old - and for the organization can be great.
Q: Both men and women report to me. In terms of quality and productivity, there's no difference. In terms of responses to problems or criticism, there is a difference. I want to "do the right thing." How do I deal with female employees who cry?
A: For many reasons, women often have tearful responses to stressful situations. It frustrates them as much as it frustrates you. Most women would be horrified to have their tears in the workplace be made part of any decision. Remain nonjudgmental on the tears.
Keep a box of tissues near your discussion area. Wherever tough discussions are likely to happen, make sure coping materials are there.
When tears start, wait a moment and see if your employee regains control. A moment is often sufficient. If your employee can stop the tears, continue. If she apologizes, tell her it isn't a problem and continue the discussion.
If the tears can't be stopped, give her a little more time. Remain impassive. Tell her you understand the conversation is difficult. Wait again. If she can't stop, call for a break. Set a time to finish the conversation when she's had time to consider what you've said to that point.
Understanding and a willingness to proceed in a thoughtful manner suggest a concerned supervisor doing the right thing. All of your employees can understand and appreciate that.
Q: I was told I intimidate another supervisor here. It isn't intentional, but I have a strong personality. Should I confront the individual and explain I'm not trying to intimidate?
A: Confronting people to explain you aren't trying to intimidate them realizes their worst fears - they're made uneasy by the confrontation and then concerned they've been "found out."
In ordinary conversations, let the individual know what you appreciate about him and his contribution to your organization. Continue in that vein when you have a chance encounter, but leave him otherwise alone. Say only what you sincerely mean. Insincerity may be worse than unwitting intimidation.
No matter how hard you try, it's unlikely everyone will like you. The world is full of widely varying personalities. If honest, you'll agree there are also some perfectly nice people you don't like. While there's no license for outright, or subtle, rudeness, it's futile to try to make friends with everyone.
It's equally futile to believe you're never at fault in a problematic relationship.
Work to make your intimidated co-worker more comfortable around you. Then determine whether your strong personality has been given excess permission to demonstrate its strength. You've been given important feedback.
|--| Camille Wright Miller-an organizational behavior sociologist who works in Lexington, answers questions from our readers about workplace issues. Please send them to her in care of The Roanoke Times, Business News Department, P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke 24010, or call 981-3100 ext. 498. Please give your name and phone number in case she has questions.
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