ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, March 17, 1997 TAG: 9703180089
SECTION: NEWSFUN PAGE: NF-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: JOHN GRIESSMAYER THE ROANOKE TIMES
It's a good day for an interview with a guy who can only be described as a legend
To celebrate St. Patrick's Day and give you a glimpse into a popular Irish legend, NewsFun sat down to talk with Riley O'Malley Fitzpatrick O'Dell, a leprechaun.
The interview, which took place at a secret location in the forest, came in the midst of recent reports that leprechauns are "not real."
NewsFun: Mr. O'Dell, I want to thank you for talking with me. I know leprechauns don't like to give interviews.
O'Dell: Well, I wanted to set the record straight. A lot of people have been saying leprechauns don't exist, that they're imaginary. That hurts me personally, and it hurts the leprechaun community in general.
Just because we don't make guest appearances with David Letterman doesn't mean we're not real. We keep to ourselves. I mean, you never see Bigfoot being interviewed on Oprah, but no one ever says he doesn't exist.
N.F.: Right. Now just to clear up any confusion out there, why don't you tell us exactly what a leprechaun really is. There are a lot of rumors floating around these days.
O'Dell: You're right, John. There's a lot of blarney (an Irish word for a fib) out there. People are always making up stories about leprechauns that have absolutely no basis in fact. They say we're evil. That's just not true. I think it comes from that awful horror movie "The Leprechaun." I tell you, that movie set us back about 20 years. (Shakes his head) I don't know where they get some of that stuff.
People say we always wear green. That's a stereotype. Sure, most of my wardrobe is green, but I've also got a navy blazer and khaki pants - who doesn't?
Here's the deal: It is true that leprechauns are Irish fairies. It's true that we live in the forest. And it's true that we're, well, vertically challenged. Most leprechauns are about 2 feet tall. Some are shorter, some taller. The center for our basketball team is a real giant: he's about 3-foot-3.
The important thing to remember is that leprechauns are just like normal people, only we have a secret pot of gold. You shouldn't treat us any differently just because we're magic. Don't hate me because I'm lucky.
N.F.: Tell me a little bit about your childhood. Did you always want to be a leprechaun?
O'Dell: That's a funny story, actually. My father was a leprechaun. His father was a leprechaun. My brothers, cousins, uncles: all leprechauns. But when I was in college I got this crazy idea in my head that I was going to be a smurf.
Well, you should have seen my father (laughing). He really hit the roof! But I was just a stubborn kid. I didn't know what I wanted. I got half-way through the smurf training program before I got kicked out. Too tall. They've got a height limit of three apples, and you can see I stand about eight apples tall. So, just as sure as St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, I went back home and became a leprechaun.
N.F.: If I may ask, what kind of work do you do?
O'Dell: I'm a shoemaker. All of us leprechauns make shoes for a living. We're a hard-working group, that's for sure. I mean, we could all sit around and live off our gold, but we still go to work every day. People respect that.
A lot of other magical creatures don't work at all. I mean, when was the last time you saw a dragon or a unicorn with a job? I know some trolls that do nothing all day but lie around underneath bridges. That looks bad.
N.F.: Tell me some more about your pot of gold. Where did it come from?
O'Dell: Two words, John: Air Jordans. Like I said I make shoes for a living. I was very lucky to come into this business at a time when athletic shoes were selling like hotcakes. We had a deal with Nike that made us a lot of dough.
N.F.: And you keep this pot of gold hidden somewhere?
O'Dell: That's right. In the old days, we'd keep the gold in a cave or a hollow tree trunk, but today we like to put our money in safer places. Secret mutual funds, enchanted Swiss banks, magic Individual Retirement Accounts. That sort of thing.
According to the rules I can only reveal my hiding place if I'm captured.
N.F.: Interesting. Have you ever had to give up your gold?
O'Dell: Nah. We leprechauns are pretty tricky. You might think you've got one of us captured, but we always find a way to get out of it. We've got some of the best lawyers in Fairyland.
N.F.: What do you leprechauns do in your free time? Any hobbies?
O'Dell: Well, we're all big Notre Dame football fans, so we try to catch as many games as we can. We also eat a lot of breakfast cereal. Other than that, we pretty much just frolic.
LENGTH: Medium: 92 lines ILLUSTRATION: GRAPHIC: Color illustration by STEVE STINSON/THE ROANOKE TIMESby CNB