ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, March 28, 1997 TAG: 9703280037
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: FRIDAY SOMETHING
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
Believe me, I scrubbed every inch of my keyboard with a Q-tip before I started writing this, because she might be watching. So, if:
You get a threatening note made of letters cut from a magazine with pinking shears and they're all the same size and lined up precisely in rows, or
She makes a gingerbread house on her show that looks exactly like yours, right down to the fallen-down licorice down spout and the stuck half-open graham cracker garage door, or
You discover that every napkin in the house has been folded into a swan, or
Twice this week you've been the victim of a drive-by doilying, or
Your credit cards have been spray-painted pastel colors and glued together to make an Easter basket, or
You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in every orifice, or
You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your head,
... then sign up immediately for that cake-decorating-with-vegetable-scrapings class - you're being stalked by Martha Stewart!
-Source: cyberspace
LENGTH: Short : 33 linesby CNB