ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, April 11, 1997 TAG: 9704110009
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: friday something
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
Honesty may be the best policy when seeking true love. The writers of these real personal ads seemed to think so:
Love-starved SWM seeking trophy wife with upper-class looks to take to next high school reunion.
Fat, cigar-smoking redneck seeks sexy woman with big hair to cook, clean and pick up unemployment checks.
DWM, uglier than a bucket of rattlesnakes. If you can bake an apple pie and kiss this ugly face, I want to hear from you.
Me: buxom blonde with blue eyes. You: elderly, marriage-minded millionaire with bad heart.
Retired with light snow on the roof, but fire still in the basement. Bath and refrigerator clean and nothing grows in either.
If your brain cells activate before your hormones, call me. Come with a reading list and EKG.
Must be willing to lie about how we met. Photo exchange first.
Love outdoors and hunting. If you have hunting dogs, send photo (of them).
If it takes a three-legged elephant five days to cross the Sahara Desert, how many times do I have to put an ad in to get one call?
-Source: ``Plain Fat Chick Seeks Guy Who Likes Broccoli''
LENGTH: Short : 33 linesby CNB