THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, June 19, 1994 TAG: 9406170459
SECTION: HAMPTON ROADS WOMAN PAGE: 02 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY TAMI MATSON, SPECIAL TO HAMPTON ROADS WOMAN
DATELINE: 940619 LENGTH: Long
Why not my mom? Because, like most women my age or older, my mom's first career was raising a family. Yes, she did get a job after my sisters and I were safely in first grade, but she can't really relate to the pressures and issues facing career women in the '90s. This isn't an article faulting my mom or her generation; it's to introduce daughters to a new bond with their fathers.
{REST} Think about it. Your father knows what it's like to work full-time with a family. And that includes the unsettling feeling of having an 8-week old infant at home while you're traveling on business. Your father knows the weight of being responsible for the financial security of the family. And if he's like my dad, he's a seasoned pro at dealing with office politics.
That's actually how I found out that I have a personal career counselor for the cost of a long-distance phone call. About two years ago, I received a memo outlining a reorganization of my company. An outside consultant was given a permanent position - as my boss! I called my mom for a shoulder to cry on, but she was out. When my dad asked what was wrong, the story spilled out. My father didn't say, ``There, there. Everything will be OK.'' He said, ``Same thing happened to me 10 years ago. Let me tell you how to make this work for your advantage.'' I was amazed. And I felt better, because I was in control of the situation.
Recently my company decided to split to form two noncompeting businesses. I had a lot of chores facing me. Which company offered more advancement? What if one of the companies went out of business? Could I start my own business and market my skills to both companies? I typed out a list of options, along with the pros and cons of each. Than I sat down with my dad and a cup of coffee to discuss my career.
Sometimes he doesn't know the answers, but he knows the right questions. He gets me thinking about the effects of my business decisions, like how this choice will look on my resume or what affect that decision has on my 401(k) plan.
Certain subjects are especially appropriate to talk to your dad about. A short list includes:
Raises. He's asked for and given out many in his life. He knows both sides.
Resumes. Chances are that he's hired his share of young professionals. What did he look for in a successful candidate?
Interviews. He may be a little biased, but try practicing your interviewing skills with a pro.
Taking criticism. I know this is a touchy subject, but men tend to take criticism less personally. Your boss doesn't want you to cry when she tells you to improve your memo writing skills. She wants you to listen and improve your work accordingly.
Strategies. Ask him about ways to get ahead; which policies are written in stone and which are written between the lines. Use his experience with the ``old boys network'' to get yourself ahead.
My father was in management, so I particularly respected his managerial skills. I'd like to think that listening to his tactics and techniques have made me a better boss.
Unless you think this is all one-sided, remember that dads love to give advice. Every time I ask dad for his help, his eyes light up with excitement and pride. We all feel flattered when someone wants our opinion, but multiply that feeling by 10 if that `someone' is your child. I know, I know, your father already lectures to you on how to run your life. But I think you'll find that asking for advice about your job will make your father stop and analyze the situation, and learn more about who you are. He may even realize that you're an adult now and respect you for the choices you're facing.
I remember when I was a kid and I'd call my dad at the office. No matter what kind of meeting he was in, he'd always take my call. I would ask stupid questions (``Could I have cookies for a snack?'') and involve him in petty fights with my sisters (``Elaine hit me!''). But he always took my call. And now I know why. My first day back to work after maternity leave, I gave strict instructions to put calls from my day-care provider, Melanie, through no matter where I was. I was in the conference room with a full staff meeting when I first heard that my daughter rolled over from front to back. It's not a matter of professionalism as much as an issue of priorities. My dad knew that, and now I do, too.
So, the next time you want to know if it's time to ask for a raise, call your dad. You'll be surprised at the wealth of information and advice he can give. I hope my daughter will be able to call me for career advice when she's my age. I already know she can call her daddy to ask how many minutes it takes to microwave a potato.
- by CNB