THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, June 19, 1994 TAG: 9406190062
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B4 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MIKE KNEPLER, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: 940619 LENGTH: NORFOLK
His dad was never around.
{REST} He saw other kids giving gifts to their fathers. ``I wanted to do the same thing. I did a lot of crying.''
``It was sort of a love-hate relationship,'' said Hodges, who turns 30 today, Father's Day. ``I loved him for being my father. The hate was that he wasn't there.''
Hodges said his anger made him rebellious in his late teens. He believes the absence of fathers provokes similar hostility among many young inner-city males.
That's one reason Hodges wants to be a good father to his kids.
And, he's finding inspiration through Men on the Move, an all-male self-help group, especially attuned to issues of black men in lower-income neighborhoods.
``I'm learning things from other men who have been fathers a lot longer than I have,'' said Hodges, a United Parcel Service employee who lives in Park Place with his wife, Anitreous, a 5-year-old daughter and an infant son.
He's learning how to better discipline his children, the importance of education, to be available for his children and to show his kids that he loves them.
Hodges joined Men on the Move through the Berkley-Campostella Early Childhood Education Center. His daughter attended classes there when the family lived in Berkley.
The center, which opened in 1991, is near the Diggs Town public-housing neighborhood, where most families are headed by single mothers.
``We wanted to show that fathers are important,'' said Chris Meissel, a preschool teacher who also works with the men. ``We wanted to show that we mean business when talking about male role models.''
Men on the Move, with a core membership of about 15 men, serves several purposes, said Cheryl Bunch, the center's principal. It's a support group, but the men also are role models to younger black men and to children.
Activities have included carwashes, movies, cookouts, and last Thursday, a Father's Day party.
The dads, a few moms and their children played a noncompetitive game similar to musical chairs, but with no winners or losers.
The adults and youngsters danced and skipped around hula hoops arranged in rows across the floor. Whenever the music stopped playing, everyone rushed to stand inside a hula hoop. Anyone left outside a hoop would be extended an arm to hold, signifying the need for people to help each other.
With each round, the number of hula hoops was reduced. Eventually, the participants linked arms as if part of one family.
The Father's Day program also featured arts and crafts.
Children sat by their dads while drawing, coloring and pasting.
Darryl McFadden, 26, laughed as his son, Darryl Jr., 3, drew a hamburger as a Father's Day gift. The boy worried that his dad did not have time for dinner.
Ronald Williams made a pennant for his children. Symbols included a graduation cap to honor his son's completion of preschool, and stars to ``indicate they can do anything they want to.''
Williams also wrote, ``Daddy loves you.''
While Men on the Move is based in the inner-city, members come from a range of neighborhoods, including middle-class.
``It was a way for me to get involved with my son, which is hard enough as it is,'' said Lowell Goodman, 41, budget manager for the Portsmouth Police Department and a Poplar Halls resident.
He brought his kids - Lowell Jr., 10; Danielle, 8; Aaron, 5; and Christopher, 2 - to the program.
``A lot of black men are dying at the hands of their own selves. We're killing one another,'' Goodman said. ``If I don't get involved in helping to raise my young children, and then taking part in helping with my community, then who are my children going to marry? So this group helps me fulfill that goal.''
Bernard Swain, 38, an electronics technician from Berkley, wants to be a model for young inner-city men as well as for his son, Bryan, 5.
``You see, I go to work everyday and I can still drive a nice car and I can still own my own home. I don't have to get out there and hustle or steal or sell drugs in order to be accomplished,'' Swain said.
Men on the Move members do not have to be fathers.
Vernon Armstrong, 40, of South Norfolk, brought Darion McClarty, 5, the son of a female friend.
The group motivated Tony Griffin, 38, of Diggs Town, to leave street life behind. ``I was messed up. Drugs. Drinking,'' he said.
A seventh-grade dropout, Griffin just earned a high-school equivalency degree through all-male adult classes at the center. He's now training to be a mechanic.
Bunch, the principal, said most of the male students are like Griffin, in their 30s or 40s. ``They're older fellows who realize this may be the last chance for them,'' she said. ``We need to target the younger guys, too, but it's very difficult.
``We hope to use Men on the Move to go out and recruit more young men who live in Diggs Town or Oakleaf Forest.''
All this encourages Donny Hodges, who lived in the Oakleaf Forest as a youngster.
Men on the Move, he said, ``helped me realize that there are some more black men who care, who want to lead their children in the right direction. Just seeing that helped motivate me to want to continue what I was doing, and more, with my own family.'' by CNB