THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, July 17, 1994 TAG: 9407150273
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 22 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Cover Story
SOURCE: BY GARY EDWARDS, CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Long : 152 lines
WHEN HEATHER TACE was told in February that she had been named the city's 1993 First Citizen, she was stunned, to say the least.
As she does every day, Tace went to Virginia Wesleyan College to pick up her son, Marc, then an 18-year-old freshman. Marc has used a wheelchair for 10 years because of muscular dystrophy.
As she opened the door to the student union, Tace got a surprise. Not only was Marc waiting for her, so were Mayor Meyera Oberndorf and other city officials, one of her two daughters and her husband, Marine Col. Stephen Tace.
``He (Stephen) was so excited. Maybe the only person there who was more excited than I was,'' said Tace. ``He was so proud of me.''
Mack Stevens, then-president of the Virginia Beach Jaycees, informed Tace of her selection amid the sudden celebration.
Col. Tace was looking forward to attending his wife's presentation ceremony, which was last night.
``He traveled extensively in his work, military logistics and planning,'' she said of her husband. ``Three trips in March, for instance. To England for a week, New Orleans for a few days, and then to Turkey.''
The 28-year veteran left for Istanbul on March 26, two days before his 51st birthday. On March 30, Stephen Tace was walking through the marketplace of the Turkish city with two British officers, when he collapsed and died of a heart attack.
``Stephen wanted to retire after 30 years and go pump gas in Pungo. That would have been so in keeping with his character,'' said Heather Tace.
THE TACES WERE MARRIED Sept. 3, 1966, the year of his enlistment following graduation from Niagara University. Stephen Tace spent his first two years of college at Notre Dame, which accounts for Marc's fanatical devotion to Fighting Irish football.
``I haven't missed a Notre Dame game in five years,'' said Marc, who plans to some day become a prosecuting attorney.
Heather Tace is a warm, energetic woman who offers hugs instead of handshakes to most people she meets. During an interview last week she answered the phone, directed questions and suggestions to her children and somehow still managed to make a visitor feel welcome in her home and devote attention to the questions being asked of her.
Her eyes filled with tears when she spoke of her husband's death, but she quickly regained her usual good cheer.
``We are a military family, but we always tried to become involved in the community in which we lived,'' Tace said. ``That was especially true when we came to Virginia Beach.''
The Taces moved here in 1980. Besides Marc, the family includes daughter Holly Cuellar, 27, now living in Lexington, Va., where her husband, Al, teaches at Virginia Military Institute; and 21-year-old daughter Noelle, a senior at Radford University.
A month after the Taces arrived, Marc, then 4 1/2, was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy.
``I thought the world would stop - no birds singing, nothing. In fact, for a while, I hoped it would,'' Tace said.
The shock of her son's illness was compounded by guilt when Heather Tace discovered that the disease was transmitted genetically mother-to-son.
In his travels, Stephen Tace sought out doctors in England who are working on a cure for the disease.
``They have isolated the gene that causes it and are working on a dystrophin-based cure,'' Heather Tace said. ``It can't come soon enough.
``A friend finally suggested to me to start working in the school clinic. She realized I needed to get out of myself, I suppose,'' said Tace, who received a master's degree in education from the State University of New York at Buffalo in 1967.
Tace eventually became a substitute teacher and was nominated for the presidency of the PTA at Kingston Elementary School, several blocks from the family's Kings Grant home.
Over the years, she has worked with the Mayor's Commission for Middle Schools, served as PTA president at Lynnhaven Junior High School and First Colonial High School and organized the Beach Ford All-American Run, sanctioned by the Tidewater Striders and held annually at Kingston. About 800 runners now participate.
WHAT BEGAN AS NECESSITY quickly blossomed into a non-stop labor of love. Tace's volunteerism extended to other areas.
``It began as a way of dealing with Marc's condition. Then, I realized I could help other kids, not just my own,'' she said.
Tace spearheaded a PTA drive for school improvements.
``We saw a need and tried to fill it. Water coolers, clocks in the classroom, risers for the school chorus, whatever we could do.''
With her children either grown or approaching adulthood, Tace's altruism now seeks other outlets.
She serves as Meals on Wheels coordinator for St. Aidan's Episcopal Church and calls it a rewarding opportunity.
``When we first started delivering the meals, I was the driver/delivery girl and Marc was my map reader,'' she said.
And she has been active in the Tidewater Marine Wives Club, currently as the scholarship chairman.
Tace most relishes her role as an unofficial yet vocal advocate for handicapped and disabled people.
``If I go someplace and they have handicapped parking spaces and no curb cuts, I let them know it. If we want people who use appliances to be independent and mobile, then let's offer them access,'' said Tace. ``Let's make curbs, ramps and parking spaces to accommodate them.''
She recalled pulling into a grocery store lot and seeing an elderly woman struggle to get her groceries over the curb and into a car. She was, she said, compelled to say something to the store management.
She smiled and wondered aloud if she was coming on too strong.
THOSE WHO KNOW HER note her strength, but in positive terms.
``The recent tragedy showed even more of her remarkable inner strength and courage. Her leadership and strength in the family were just unbelievable,'' said Beach Ford owner Tom Barton, a longtime friend of the family.
``I remember Stephen talking about how proud of her he was when she won. Here was this man's man, this true warrior. He had his medals from wars and yet, as my wife said, `They were really in love, like a couple of kids.' ''
Debbie Cook served as chairman of the First Citizen Award for the Beach Jaycees. This year's selection was unlike any other that she could recall.
``First of all, I was so glad I got to know (Col. Tace). He helped me set up the surprise. He was so low-keyed. I couldn't believe it when I heard about all of his military decorations and awards,'' said Cook. ``The thing that makes the family so special is the fact that they live those family values we hear so much about.''
Mayor Oberndorf said, ``I think it would be hard to find a more fitting recipient for this year's award than this remarkable, inspirational woman.''
Heather Tace's guiding philosophy remains clear:
``We should all be aware of each other and care for each other. It's not that hard. Let's get back to sitting on each other's front porches together.''
Her inspiration is equally obvious:
``I've been blessed with a caring family and friends. I hope to carry that on and I hope my husband will guide me.'' ILLUSTRATION: Staff photos by MORT FRYMAN
Color on the Cover: Heather Tace, recently widowed and the mother of
three, including a son with MD, is an activist for the handicapped
and a volunteer of the highest order.
``We are a military family, but we always tried to become involved
in the community in which we lived. That was especially true when we
came to Virginia Beach,'' says Heather Tace, whose family has lived
here since 1980.
Heather Tace, recently widowed, juggles her home duties - including
son Marc, who has muscular dystrophy - with a myriad of volunteer
activities.
Heather Tace takes time out for some relaxation at home with
daughter Noelle, 21, and the family Labrador, Bell. A third child,
Holly Cuellar, 27, lives in Lexington.
by CNB