THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, July 22, 1994 TAG: 9407210044
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: TRACI & DORAN
LENGTH: Medium: 63 lines
DEAR TRACI AND DORAN,
My best friend recently got a boyfriend. I am not defensive for the simple fact that she has a boyfriend, but she has been neglecting our friendship. I have had boyfriends before, and I did not compromise our friendship the way she is now. I think that I deserve the same respect. What should I do? - Neglected in Tallwood
Dear Neglected,
It is understandable that you feel neglected because your best friend's attention is diverted, but you have to learn to let her live a little. Ask yourself, ``Is this jealousy I feel?'' If you are jealous because your friend found a new friend, then you should try to turn that jealousy into happiness for her.
It may be that you are just concerned about whether your friend is jumping into this relationship too fast. If this is the case, then talk to her and let her know how you feel. She may welcome an outside opinion. However, if you decide to confer with your friend, remember, she has to take into consideration her own best interests.
It may also be possible that your friend does not realize that you feel neglected. You should talk to her and let her know that you feel that the friendship between the two of you has weakened. Then you can work things out so everyone is happy.
Dear Traci and Doran,
I happen to be seeing an older man. The relationship is very confidential - absolutely no one knows of our involvement. How should I tell my parents about this? Should I even let anyone know about it? - Confused
Dear Confused,
We have very little information about you and the man with whom you are involved, therefore we can't give you one answer.
You seem to be considering telling your parents, or someone, about your relationship.
To keep your sanity, we suggest telling your parents about your involvement with this older guy - especially if you have been asked about it. The best way to break the news is to be straightforward. Beating around the bush will only create more anxiety and tension. If you truly believe that you are mature and responsible enough to handle the relationship, then let your parents know that.
Keep in mind that if you are a minor and you are having sex with a man who is not a minor, he could be charged with statutory rape, contributing to the delinquency of a minor or fornication.
Not only are their legalities involved with relationships with age gaps between the partners, but there are social aspects to consider. Can you handle being around his crowd of older people? Do you want to deal with watching him go places where you are too young to be admitted? Consider all of the aspects of this relationship before getting too involved. MEMO: Traci Hill is a 1994 graduate of First Colonial High headed for
Appalacian State University and Doran Ricks is 1994 graduate of
Southampton High School headed for the University of Virginia. Their
column appears bi-weekly in Teenology. They accept questions on
INFOLINE. Call 640-5555 and enter category 8335. Or write to them at
4565 Virginia Beach Blvd., Virginia Beach, Va. 23462. by CNB