THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, July 23, 1994 TAG: 9407220087
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E6 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Issues of Faith
SOURCE: Betsy Mathews Wright
LENGTH: Medium: 86 lines
SOMETIMES I HAVE no clue as to whether a column will draw response, but I had a pretty strong hunch that last week's column on spiritual renewal would be a snoozer. It was.
What I didn't expect, however, was that I'd manage to tick off at least one person with my little note at the end of the column.
That note told how I'd had some inquiries about my getting married but not changing my name for the column. I explained that I have chosen to keep ``Betsy Mathews Wright'' as my column byline and use my married name for the rest of my day-to-day life.
``What's my new name?'' I said in the column. ``I'll never tell. Only my friends and family are privy to that one. . . . Hey, it's nice having a little privacy for a change!''
I never imagined anyone would take notice, much less be bothered by this. But at least one reader was. He blasted me, accusing me of ``bearing false witness.'' He also insinuated that it wasn't fair that I get to have a private name but that readers have to leave their real names.
``In response to leaving my name, I will just quote this article and say, `I'll never tell,' '' the caller said. ``Is that my prerogative? May I choose a pseudonym to protect my privacy?''
I have to confess that this guy really got my goat. I was ticked off. I was indignant. I went off like a 10-cent rocket.
By accusing me of ``bearing false witness,'' the guy had essentially called me a liar. I wanted to blast him from here to Kingdom-come.
So I sat down this week and reeled off a column listing five reasons I was right and this guy was wrong. I smugly turned it over to my editor.
He proceeded to blow me and the column right out of the water.
``I can turn this in,'' Tom Warhover said, ``but I think you'll regret it.''
I pleaded my case. He wouldn't budge.
Then the whole newsroom - which in Chesapeake that day amounted to three reporters - got in on the argument.
Basically, they all agreed that there is something false about a journalist using a pen name.
``But I'm not using a false name,'' I debated. ``I'm just using only three-quarters of my legal name.''
``Doesn't matter,'' said reporter Tony Wharton. ``It's about perception. What matters is that this reader perceives you've been dishon-est.''
OK. Stop the music. At this point in the columm, some of you are probably saying to yourself, ``Come on, Betsy, is this really an issue of faith?''
Well, yes it is. This might seem like petty potatoes to some, but whether readers perceive me as honest or dishonest is a big deal to me. I don't need readers to always agree with me. I don't even worry that they particularly like what I've written. But I do care very deeply about whether readers perceive me as being fair.
So there I was, hours before deadline with a going-nowhere column and a busted ego.
I decided to take a long break and do what I always do when I'm troubled about something. I prayed.
``Have I really been dishonest, Lord? Should I let this matter go or pursue it? If I've goofed, Lord, show me and better yet, help me fix it.''
Well, the night rolled on and that telegram from God never came.
I tried to write another column. I wrote pieces of two others, but nothing seemed to fit. My mind and heart kept returning to the day's conversation.
Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, it finally hit me.
No, God didn't reveal to me whether or not I should use my married name for this column. I came to see that wasn't the bigger issue.
The big issue was actually pride. By focusing on my need to be right, I had set my sights on revenge (I told you that guy really made me mad!) and I had gotten way off track. That's where I'd really been dishonest. That's where I'd really been unfair to the readers.
So here I am, confessing this whole twisted tale and trying to see the moral of this story. I guess this is my way of repenting.
About the name business? I still don't know. Am I being dishonest by using a pen name? I'd welcome your input on that one.
I do, however, know this: I won't try to pass off petty revenge as a column again . . . if God don't get me, my editor will. MEMO: Every other week, Betsy Mathews Wright publishes responses to her
opinion column. Send responses to Issues of Faith, The Virginian-Pilot,
150 W. Brambleton Ave., Norfolk, Va. 23510; call (804) 446-2273; FAX
(804) 436-2798; or send e-mail to bmw(AT)infi.net. Deadline is Tuesday
before publication. You must include your name, city and phone number. by CNB