THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, July 27, 1994 TAG: 9407270626
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E4 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Movie review
SOURCE: BY MAL VINCENT, ENTERTAINMENT WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 80 lines
``NORTH'' IS A dimwitted mess, suggesting that director Rob Reiner might have just been lucky in his past successes.
The basic idea seems ill-advised from the first. This is the saga of an 11-year-old boy who ``divorces'' his parents and sets out on a round-the-world quest to find a better duo. Reiner, who showed some gift for fantasy with ``The Princess Bride'' and for satire in ``This Is Spinal Tap,'' seems to have gone astray in an effort to turn this premise into a surrealistic comedy.
Elijah Wood, a pleasant enough child actor, works hard but has much going against him. For one thing, he is asked to play a near-perfect stereotype. All the other parents in the neighborhood want their children to be just like North. He's the star of the baseball team. He makes good grades. Jason Alexander and Julia-Louis Dreyfus of ``Seinfeld'' have the thankless task of playing the bickering parents who ignore him.
Bruce Willis plays a kind of traveling guardian who shows up at every stop. First appearing as an Easter Bunny, then as a grizzled cowboy, an Eskimo and a beach bum, Willis indicates that he might be quite funny if only he had some decent material to work with.
The judge, played by Alan Arkin, rules that the kid can cavort about the world but must find new parents by the end of the summer - or he goes to an orphanage.
The journey provides a feeble excuse for a series of skits that are lame even by TV standards. North goes to Texas, where Reba McEntire and Dan Aykroyd play rich types who put on a Broadway-style hoedown, complete with dancers clad in spangles and boots.
In Hawaii, the searching child interviews parents who want to use him on suntan ads to promote the state. In Alaska, he meets unlikely Eskimos played by Kathy Bates (Oscar winner for ``Misery'') and Graham Greene (Oscar nominee for ``Dances With Wolves''). They fish in their icy living room, but they send poor grandpa, played by Abe Vigoda, away in a heartless and pointlessly cruel skit. In Africa, North is shocked by bare breasts. In Amish territory, he doesn't know what to make of Kelly McGillis and Alexander Godunov, recreating their roles from ``Witness.''
Only in France is there a funny moment - when every TV channel shows only Jerry Lewis movies.
In country after country, North is put off by the applicants.
Back home, the kid editor of the school paper has turned into a Nazi who has organized kids to threaten their parents with the same desertion. Parents are seen hopping and skipping to the orders of tyrannical kids. Matthew McCurley, the kid with an overbite and horn-rimmed glasses, is at least interesting in his scary rule. He steals what little there is to steal of the film.
In the last reel, the mood changes abruptly when someone decides that North should become a martyr and should never return to his parents alive. This results in a Hitchcock-like chase, including murder attempts. This is hardly humorous or suspenseful.
There is never any real question as to the outcome. Like Dorothy after Oz, North is sure to find that ``there is no place like . . . ''
Potential ticket buyers should take that advice seriously - or consider another theater. ILLUSTRATION: Graphic
MOVIE REVIEW
``North''
Cast: Elijah Wood, Bruce Willis, Jon Lovitz, Jason Alexander,
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Reba McEntire, Dan Aykroyd, Kelly McGillis,
John Ritter, Alexander Godunov, Kathy Bates, Graham Greene
Director: Rob Reiner
Screenplay: Alan Zweibel and Andrew Scheinman, based on the novel
by Zweibel
MPAA rating: PG (should kids be encouraged to dump their
parents?)
Mal's rating: One 1/2 stars
Locations: Movies 10 in Chesapeake; Circle 4 and Main Gate in
Norfolk; Kemps River, Lynnhaven Mall, Pembroke and Surf-N-Sand in
Virginia Beach
by CNB