THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, July 31, 1994 TAG: 9407270044
SECTION: HAMPTON ROADS WOMAN PAGE: 02 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: YOUR TURN
SOURCE: BY JANICE GIANNONI, SPECIAL TO HAMPTON ROADS WOMAN
LENGTH: Medium: 60 lines
I AM 29, a respectable member of my community, have a professional degree and am married to a professional. I also am handicapped. Please don't hate me for my parking spot.
My disability? One leg is shorter than the other, and this interferes with my ability to walk any distance. I wasn't always this way. Six years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer of the hip bone and had to have it removed. The only evidence of my disability to the onlooker is the two-inch shoe lift I must wear. To look at it, no one could ever know that six years ago I was facing the prospect of dying. No one but my close friends, family and doctors know that I have only half of my pelvis intact.
However, I get stared at a lot when I park in the handicap spot. After I hang my handicap tag and get out of the car, I often feel people glaring at me because I don't look like a handicap person (whatever that means). I guess I just don't fit the stereotype because I'm young, attractive and not in a wheelchair.
If I must walk any distance (such as in a shopping mall), then I reach for my crutch in the back seat. However, if I plan to be in a store for five minutes, I go without the crutch, although I should use it always. I avoid using it because of the stares.
But how could anyone know the extent of my disability just by looking at me? They can't. Yet I hear crass and obnoxious comments directed to me from sidewalks and cars that speed away. The most recent was at the mall. My husband drove me there and as we pulled into a handicap spot, a car was pulling out of a spot just behind us. We heard the `gentleman'' say to his woman friend, ``I wonder who's the handicap? Him or her?'' He watched from his car as we got out, and then he shouted, ``They are no more handicapped than we are!'' Another time when I was parking in one of those coveted spots, an irate man almost stuck his head inside my window, and before I had a chance to hang the tag, he blurted, ``You're not supposed to park here. This spot's for cripples!''
The irony is that I've learned how to deal quite well with the serious disability I have. Yet, it is society that deals out the hardest blows. The comments and stares really hurt. Suddenly, I'm fighting a shyness about crowds that I've never had before.
My advise for the able-bodied is don't be jealous of the handicapped because of parking spots. Just thank the Lord that you don't need one. I implore you to please not stare at us either; we may be physically impaired, but we're ``not blind.'' (If we were, we wouldn't be driving.) We know you're staring. Young children stare, but they don't know any better. As adults, show some class and some respect. And last, remember that appearances are deceiving. There are many people like me who are disabled for life yet don't have visible handicaps at first glance. Count your blessings that you don't have a handicap! MEMO: Janice Giannoni is a resident of Portsmouth. by CNB