THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, July 31, 1994 TAG: 9407290083
SECTION: HAMPTON ROADS WOMAN PAGE: 04 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY KATHY WILLIAMS, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Medium: 86 lines
I WAS A happy woman munching popcorn in the cool darkness of the movie theater.
My 6-year-old was giggling at my side on this Sunday afternoon voyage into the slapstick world of ``Baby's Day Out.''
Sitting next to my son was a sour-looking man with three boys - a 2-year-old perched on his lap, and two boys around 8 and 10 crouched in their seats. Not one of them was making a peep in this kiddy movie rolling to the accompaniment of a dull preschool roar. Occasionally it was pierced by the wail of an infant or the overly zealous laugh of a teen.
But, hey, this was a kid's movie. I wouldn't tolerate this kind of crowd at Schindler's List, but in here it was OK.
At least for me.
But the man sitting next to my son was getting puffier than his tub of popcorn.
At one point he'd obviously had enough. Leaning across my son, he said loudly:
``Ma'am my 2-year-old acts better than your son. Could you make him shut up?''
At first, I didn't think he was talking to me. Kid chatter is merely background noise to me these days, and I hadn't noticed anything extraordinary coming out of my son. A loud laugh once in awhile. A question about what was going on.
``What's wrong with him?'' my son asked in a loud stage whisper.
The man glared. I thought about moving, but all the seats were taken and besides, my feet were stuck to the floor. He was just in a bad mood.
I pitched a side glance his way and noticed the 2-year-old on his lap. He was right. The kid wasn't saying a word. We were almost an hour into this mindless movie, and the little boy hadn't done anything. He looked scared. His brothers weren't moving either.
Mulling this over in my mind, I realized these kids were afraid to be little boys. How awful to be at a movie with a man who needed silence to follow the plot of this one.
Closing my eyes, I drifted into a contented half-doze. What was wrong with this man? Didn't he know real parents took their kids to movies so they could get a break? That being in the air-conditioned dark was a panacea for a week of preschooler madness.
Before I knew it, I was dead asleep. Vaguely, I could hear my son laughing - guffawing at the really slapstick parts.
Then, I felt a hand tugging at my shirt.
``Ma'am. I'm going to report you to management,'' said the voice one seat away.
``Good,'' I replied. ``While you're back there, get your shorts out of a knot.''
OK, it was a smart remark. But he woke me up. And I'm really grouchy when I first wake up.
``Whose shorts are in a knot?'' my son said in loud voice.
The two women sitting in front of me turned to stare. One of them stood up, and I expected her to ask me to leave or at least reprimand me for being a bad example to my son.
But she was on my side.
``Why don't you take your three perfect sons out of the theater where we won't bother them?'' the woman said to the testy man.
The woman sitting beside her clapped and mumbled ``Yes, yes.''
An uncomfortable silence settled over a couple of rows in front and back of us. I traded seats with my son so he wouldn't have to sit beside the man.
Not a word passed between us for the rest of the movie, but I could feel steam coming out of the seat beside me.
When the credits began to roll, I gathered my stuff and began a hasty exit from the theater.
The woman sitting in front of us hurried to catch me.
``Could you believe that man?'' she asked. ``You'd think he didn't have kids.''
We stood outside in the daylight talking about how no one gives parents a break anymore. How in restaurants people stare when the baby screams or the preschooler drops his drink. How single friends don't get it when you can't go out at the drop of an invitation. How at work no one understands the rush to get to day care on time.
It was as if we were in some sort of parent solidarity; we knew the secret password.
As we reluctantly parted, I called over my shoulder:
``Hey, and don't forget about the movies. You meet the rudest - and the nicest - people.'' by CNB