THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Tuesday, August 16, 1994 TAG: 9408170584
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY ANGIE MARBURY, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 108 lines
SO WHAT IF YOUR children can't act? They'll never be Clubhouse Kids.
But maybe you've got a ballerina. Or a pianist. Or a soccer player. Or how about a cheerleader?
You'll try them all, you vow, until the kid takes to something.
Wait a minute, say the experts. Your child has a projected life span of as much as 80 years. So what's the hurry for all these activities?
The experts says the point is to get them away from Nintendo, off the couch and interested in something besides the TV. But that doesn't mean you have to schedule every waking moment.
``The best thing to do is turn off the TV, and take them outside,'' said Fredrick Weston, director of clinical services at Family Services of Tidewater in Norfolk. ``There are lots of activities to do. You can take them to the beach and Oceanfront. Kids are creative. They don't need structured activity all the time. You take them to the beach, they'll play in the sand all day.''
Weston says that if parents are interested in various activities, they can infect the child with some enthusiasm.
Barbara Hefner, who has a son involved in two activities this summer, follows this practice.
``It takes persistence and dedication on the parents' part. When parents show enthusiasm about it, that's when the child will,'' Hefner said.
Enrolled at the Martial Arts Institute of America and a member of the Greenbrier Athletic Association's T-ball team, Hefner's 6-year-old son, Michael, says he enjoys both.
Michael has been learning Tae Kwon Do for three years and playing T-ball for two.
His mother says keeping him excited was difficult at first, but as he became more advanced, his interest peaked.
``Each time he advanced another belt, he just had to keep going. I like the competition for him,'' Barbara Hefner said. ``I think it's good for him as far as self-esteem goes.''
Barbara Sutherland said the key to getting her two sons involved in activities away from home is to get involved herself.
``We're very active,'' Sutherland said. ``I take Tae Kwon Do. And we (she and her husband) both play baseball, so they see us doing it.''
Her sons, Noah, 9, and Adam, 5, first got involved with Tae Kwon Do through some neighborhood kids whose parents had them enrolled.
``I don't want to sit around all the time and become a couch potato,'' Noah said. ``With Nintendo and stuff like that, you're not actually doing anything but pressing buttons. In sports, you're actually doing something.''
Weston said that while involving your child in activities is good, too much can be devastating to the parent-child relationship.
``Parents really need to think about what their priorities are. There needs to be fun and laughter.'' said Weston. ``There needs to be pleasure to be together. And when you've got too much going on and there's no time for that, then there's a problem.''
In a Parents magazine interview, experts stressed the importance of balancing structured activities with a certain amount of down time. ``When we enroll our children in an activity like soccer, dance or music,'' says Mary DeBey, Ed.D., assistant professor of early-childhood education at Hudson Valley Community College, in Troy, N.Y., ``we are nurturing their active qualities. But we need to nurture reflective qualities as well.'' ILLUSTRATION: Graphic
SIGNS OF OVERLOAD
Preschoolers:
Agitation
Unusual whining or clinginess
Constant need for reassurance
An inability to laugh or giggle and be playful
A worrisome change in behavior that continues for more than two
weeks
School-age children:
Aggressive, angry behavior
Bed-wetting
Sleep problems
Problems with separation
A tendency to be withdrawn
Resistance to participating in activities
Stress-related diarrhea or constipation
Many parents must keep their children in after-school activities
and day care. If that's the case with you, here are some ways you
can guard against overloading your child:
Try to sign your children up for activities they are interested
in pursuing. Let them know what their options are and respect their
interests.
Make sure you talk to your children about their activities.
``What was the best part of soccer today?'' will get you further
than ``What did you do?''
If you have very young children, make sure that their day-care
environment is supervised - but not structured - by adults.
Preschoolers need to structure their own play.
If your child is resistant to after-school activities, try to
arrange a co-op with other parents. Two or three young children may
feel more relaxed playing together at a friend's home than in a more
formal setting.
Maximize the time you have with your child by doing less but
doing it together. Sit near the bathtub while she plays in the bath.
Stretch out bedtime with lots of reading, singing or cuddling. Check
your impulse to hurry him along unless it's necessary.
Encourage a balance of quiet and busy activities. Despite initial
resistance, a little athlete will benefit from the opportunity to
mess around with a lump of clay, just as a budding artist will
benefit from running across a soccer field.
by CNB