THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, August 18, 1994 TAG: 9408180041
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: TRACI & DORAN
LENGTH: Medium: 67 lines
DEAR TRACI AND DORAN,
I am a 15-year-old rising sophomore at Woodrow Wilson High School. Despite my age, my father will still not allow me to associate with boys. Not only am I restricted from dating, but I can't even talk to guys on the phone - not even guys who are just my friends. My father is simply too overbearing, and I can't even carry on a conversation with him without his yelling at me. Please help. - I've Got An Overprotective Dad
Dear I.G.A.O.D.,
Assuming you have done nothing to lose your father's trust, we can understand your frustration. Usually by age 15, teens are allowed to talk to members of the opposite sex - at least on the phone. It must be very difficult to accept your father's strict rules when your friends' parents are probably more lenient.
Your father probably feels as if you are still his ``little girl,'' and he might not be willing to accept that you are growing up. Schedule a specific time to sit down with your father to discuss the situation. Politely ask him to hear you out. Let him know that you believe that you are mature and responsible enough to date and talk to guys on the phone.
Remember to listen to what your father has to say. Maybe he is fearful that some guy will take advantage of you. This will be your chance to calm your father's fears and possibly make him less apprehensive about your dating. Remember to keep your cool, because if you vent your frustrations on your father, it will only lead him to believe that you haven't matured enough to carry on a conversation.
Suggest to your father that he allow you to start your dating experiences with ``group dates.'' Go out with a groups of friends, including the guy that you are interested in. This might ease your father's fears a little.
Dear Traci and Doran,
I just recently had sex for the first time. I am so afraid that I might be pregnant. I'm too afraid to talk to my parents about it. What should I do about my situation? - Baby Blues
Dear Blues,
You did not say why you believe you are pregnant - we are assuming that it is because you've been feeling sick or because you did not use protection.
First, see a doctor to determine if you are pregnant and/or if you have contracted a sexually transmitted disease. If you do not have a regular family doctor or gynecologist, that's certainly no reason to procrastinate about seeing one.
Call the Crisis Pregnancy Center of Tidewater at 499-4444. It is not a medical facility, but you will be able to set an appointment for a free pregnancy test and learn the results before you leave. The whole visit lasts no more than one hour. Also available are counselors for you, your parents, and your boyfriend, should you find out that you are pregnant. You can be counseled on relationships and sexuality, fetal development and practical health if you should decide to carry a baby full term. You can also get referrals to clinics or obstetricians or gynecologists. Locations are in Virginia Beach, Portsmouth and Suffolk. Everything is free and confidential.
Please remember, if you should decide to continue to have sex, protect yourself against pregnancy and disease. MEMO: Traci Hill is a 1994 graduate of First Colonial High School. Doran Ricks
is a 1994 graduate of Southampton High. Their column is published
bimonthly in the Teenology section. They accept questions on INFOLINE.
Dial 640-5555 and enter category 8335. Or write to them at 4565 Virginia
Beach Blvd., Virginia Beach, Va., 23462. by CNB