THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, August 26, 1994 TAG: 9408260052
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY NICOLE ALLEN, HIGH SCHOOL CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Long : 107 lines
It's 5 a.m. and Michelle Wright is just getting up. She climbs over her 2-year-old son, Deshawn, and walks over to her 2-month-old daughter, Monique, for the third time that night, tripping over the many toys left on the floor by her son. She picks up Monique and carries her into the kitchen to get another bottle.
A couple of blocks away, Tasha Montgomery awakes at the same time to get her 5-month-old daughter, Ashlee, ready for the baby sitter and to get herself ready for school.
Tasha and Michelle are just two of 1 million teenage girls who get pregnant each year. They both know what it's like to go without money and sleep, and to skip school to handle other responsibilities.
``I never knew it would be this tough,'' Michelle said. ``I love my kids to death but I wish I would have taken precautions to avoid all this.''
Michelle was in the ninth-grade when she met her children's father. He and Michelle were going together for two months when she got pregnant with Deshawn.
``When I first found out I was pregnant I didn't know what to do,'' Michelle said. ``Luckily, I had a mom and a dad that stood by my side.''
Tasha's situation was different. ``When I first found out and told my mother, she sent me to live with my grandmother. It was real hard at first without her. . . to help me out, but my grandmother was a big help.''
Tasha met her ex-boyfriend at a Norfolk dance club. ``I was a virgin . . . and he told me all the things that I wanted to hear. There was also a lot of pressure from my friends. After we were together for about a month-and-a-half, I learned that I was pregnant. When I first told him I was pregnant he asked was it his.
``Right then and there I knew that was not the guy I wanted to be with, if he had to ask me something like that. He comes to see Ashlee sometimes, but he doesn't have a major part in her life,'' Tasha said.
Tasha is determined that she doesn't need to depend on any guy to help her take care of Ashlee.
``My grandmother is the one person I can say that really stuck by me and the baby. If it wasn't for her I don't know where I would be. She keeps Ashlee while I go to school and sometimes when I want to go out with my friends, but that is very rarely.''
Michelle vowed after the first baby that she would never have another, but two years later there was another by the same guy.
``You wouldn't believe the pain I felt when I found out I was pregnant again,'' she said. ``That time I was smart and we used a condom. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle another baby but I didn't want to get an abortion.
``Sometimes I wish that I could just drop them off somewhere and come back and get them when I'm ready, but I know I can't do that. They are my responsibility and I have to live up to that - and two kids are a big responsibility. . . . I now look back on those days when I was free and wish I could start all over again.''
Tasha also considers parenthood at 18 a ``prison term.''
``Everything I do is for my daughter,'' Tasha said. ``For me to get up every day and go to school is for her. I work hard so I don't have to be one of those girls on welfare.''
Tasha doesn't want to be one of the statistics. She attends school regularly unless Ashlee is sick.
``I plan on graduating from high school and becoming a doctor or lawyer,'' Tasha said. ``I want to give my daughter a good life. So many people think just because you have a baby you have to depend on welfare and child support and you won't do anything with your life. Well, I'm here to prove them all wrong.''
Michelle, with twice the responsibilities, finds it difficult to attend school.
``With two babies and no one to baby-sit, it's real unlikely that I can make it to school,'' Michelle said. ``My day is full of surprises every day. Running after Deshawn, trying to stop Monique from crying, there is nothing that I don't do. The best part about my day is when they both are asleep, which is very unlikely.''
Michelle and Tasha also know what it's like to be alone and pregnant.
``I used to cry at night because of the pain,'' said Michelle. ``To be pregnant and alone is real hard. You have to have a strong mind to make it.''
``Nights were the worst time for me when I was pregnant,'' Tasha said. ``I used to be so depressed that I thought I would lose my mind.''
Despite their frustrations with parenthood, both mothers say that God has given them special gifts that they wouldn't give up for the world.
``Just to hold them in my arms and hug and kiss them is special to me, but I wish I would have waited before I chose to make an important decision like having sex,'' Michelle said.
They both want to warn young girls who are risking their life and their freedom.
``If you are having sex, be smart enough to know to protect yourself,'' Michelle said. ``Birth control pills are not enough. Tell him to wear a condom. He may not want to, but he doesn't have to be the one that has to go through childbirth.''
Tasha shakes her head, agreeing with everything Michelle says. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
Nicole Allen is a rising senior at Maury High School. She wrote this
story as part of the 8th Annual Minority Journalism Workshop.
Graphic
PREGNANCY FACTS
More than 90 percent of black teenage mothers are single.
Only 18 percent of all single mothers receive court-ordered child
support from their children's fathers.
More than 40,000 pregnant teens drop out of school each year,
reports the Children's Defense Fund.
by CNB