THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, September 2, 1994 TAG: 9408310103
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 2B EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY GARY EDWARDS, CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Medium: 84 lines
``I hate myself and all the things around me. I hate the way that I am, and that really astounds me. I hate to wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I close my eyes so I won't have to look a little clearer. I hate myself, and everyone else hates me, too. KILLING MYSELF, sometimes seems the sensible thing to do.''
Those desperate words were written by a 13-year-old, Alivia Andrews, five years ago. She spent most of her time in her bedroom, with the curtains closed and the door locked, crying and contemplating suicide as the only way out of her pain.
``I wanted to die,'' said Alivia, now 18 and a rising senior at Princess Anne High School.
Instead, she received counseling and treatment for her depression and low self-esteem. She turned her life around. Now she uses her experience to help others.
``I want to help other kids who may feel like I did once,'' she said.
The future child psychologist does just that. Andrews speaks to students, sharing with them the pain she once endured and the joy and hope she now feels.
Andrews has won local, regional, state and national competitions for her illustrated talk, ``Love Loving You.''
She begins her speech with the passage above and goes on to cite statistics about what she refers to as ``the epidemic of low self-esteem.''
Andrews tells her listeners about a report in the Louisville, Ky., Courier-Journal indicating a 166 percent increase in suicides among children between the ages of 10 and 14 during the past five years. She said the increase was even higher for 15-to-19-year-olds: 192 percent.
She goes on to offer hope for this dreary outlook. Andrews talks of how loving oneself is key to getting along with others. She offers insights into valuing oneself and consequently seeing value in others. She mentions concepts such as accepting oneself, limitations and all.
Rather than seeing differences among people as a cause for misunderstanding, prejudice and hatred, Andrews tells her listeners that ``Each of us is different, but human.'' We can learn to appreciate, rather than castigate, the differences we notice if we build on our own self-esteem.
She traveled to Orlando, Fla., last month for the national finals of the Future Homemakers of America HERO-sponsored competition and brought home a first place. The acronym stands for Home Economics Related Occupations.
The competition was a combination of two of Andrews' loves. She takes child care, a HERO course, at the Vocational-Technical Education Center and has been involved in forensics during her years at Princess Anne.
``I have participated in original oratory in forensics and I've worked with handicapped pre-schoolers at Vo-Tech,'' she said. ``For the illustrated talk, I just expanded my original oratory and created some posters to go along with it. It took me a few months to develop it.''
Andrews won the regional competition at Lake Taylor High School in February and the state in Reston in April. Contest rules mandate that the illustrated talk must be between five and 10 minutes, Andrews said.
Andrews has given longer talks outside competition. She has spoken to sixth- and eighth-graders at Plaza Junior High School twice, at FHA-HERO Night at Tallwood High School in May and at Bayside High School Parent-Teen Night in June.
One of the more touching occasions for her poignant story occurred at Princess Anne's West Building graduation ceremony in June. That wing of the school houses the handicapped and disabled students.
``It was very important to me to be able to speak to those students on their biggest night,'' said Andrews. ``I have worked with handicapped kids at Vo-Tech for three years. Working with them and watching them learn has helped me so much.''
Following her graduation next spring, Andrews plans to attend Shaw University in Raleigh. ``I want to major in child psychology and eventually become a child psychologist. I got help when I needed it, and I want to help others, to try to make a difference for children with problems.''
Anyone interested in having Andrews speak can call Liz Thomas or Debbie Warren, teachers at the Vo-Tech, at 427-5300. ILLUSTRATION: Photo
Alivia Andrews is award-winning speaker
by CNB