THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, September 2, 1994 TAG: 9409020739
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BOB MOLINARO
LENGTH: Medium: 68 lines
Friction: You know something isn't right between Frank Beamer and his Virginia Tech superiors when the football coach's new five-year contract is offered on the condition that the Hokies, 9-3 in '93, have a winning record this season. Beamer, a Tech alumnus, turned down an offer from Boston College to remain in Blacksburg. Next time a school comes after him, maybe he'll be less hesitant to leave.
A better idea: Midnight basketball leagues can do a lot of good, but not as much as midnight study halls.
TV timeout: Until Fox got the NFL, I was never under the impression that broadcasting football games was rocket science. The boys at Murdoch's network sure do take themselves seriously.
Viewer guide: First thing Fox should do is require that Bart Simpson and Terry Bradshaw wear name tags so that we can tell them apart.
A coming attraction: If you think sports are zany now, wait until May, when Mike Tyson is eligible to be released from prison.
Weight watcher: Southern California has a 310-pound offensive guard by the name of Phalen Pounds.
Idol time: When U.S. Amateur champion Tiger Woods says he wants to be the Michael Jordan of golf, does he mean that he intends to be hustled out of thousands of dollars on the basketball court?
Over and out: A better, not to mention cheaper, idea than walkie-talkie helmets would be to ask NFL quarterbacks to call their own plays. What a concept!
Steady they go: The San Francisco 49ers are the NFL's most consistent franchise, reaching double figures in victories 11 years in a row.
Funny money: The late Hugh Culverhouse, who paid $16 million for the Tampa Bay Bucs franchise, lived long enough to shell out $16.5 million to rookie quarterback Trent Dilfer.
King's College: In changing from Memphis State to the University of Memphis, the school missed an obvious opportunity to rename itself Elvis Tech.
Net results: There is a flaw in Pete Sampras' tennis game after all - those shorts.
Unfinished business: Sampras, 23 and an 11th-grade dropout, hopes to earn his high school equivalency degree before he wins too many more Grand Slams. Maybe he should just go ahead and buy a college.
Such a romantic: Asked once why he got married in a ballpark, former Tide and New York Met Mookie Wilson said: ``My wife wanted a big diamond.''
No chance: If the NHL players went on strike, America wouldn't notice until February.
The market is there: By now, somebody should have started a crisis hot line for Rotisserie League freaks.
What a waste: Listening to Jon Miller try to breathe life into those ESPN minor league baseball games is like watching Dale Earnhardt drive a Volkswagen.
Fast break: Although Florida State hasn't played its first football game this season, Seminole flacks have already mailed out slick, five-page basketball preseason media guides with Bob Sura on the cover.
Barnum was right: If a sucker is born every minute, those NFL exhibition shams will be well-attended for many years to come.
Good guy, good cause: Although former Dookie Grant Hill hasn't signed with the Pistons yet, he donated a large chunk of change from his sneaker deal with Fila to the city of Detroit to start a summer basketball league that incorporates educational elements.
Double trouble: Syracuse has a tailback named Kirby Dar Dar. by CNB