THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, October 2, 1994 TAG: 9409300084
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: REALPOLITIK
Occasional dispatches on the offbeat side of Virginia's 1994 U.S. Senate
race.
SOURCE: BY KERRY DOUGHERTY, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 101 lines
How many reporters does it take to watch Ollie North buy a Stanley hammer?
At least 15.
That's how many newsies breathlessly watched the candidate examine tools Wednesday before he settled on a black-handled Stanley in a Home Quarters Warehouse.
Then the horde shuffled en masse to the cash register to watch Ollie dig into his pocket for the $16.21 needed to buy it.
The Oliver North press gang is a constantly changing cast of local reporters, national reporters and writers from unlikely publications that come and go on the trail. The Village Voice, the Nation, The New Yorker, the Wall Street Journal, the Detroit News and the Los Angeles Times have all been there. They dog the celebrity candidate every step of the way, the air electric with anticipation.
What will Ollie do next?
``I can't see through the press,'' North complained as he walked into a Newport News WalMart encircled by an eager throng of notebook-holding, camera-wielding, gum-chewing reporters and photographers.
Mingling with the press mess are the campaign aides who number between four and six and whose job it is to pass out literature, bumper stickers and keep an eye out for trouble.
As absurd as it seems, Ollie's hammer purchase was not without significance. It signaled a new campaign technique where North, instead of just blowing into retail stores and causing a minor riot among shoppers, actually buys something.
At the WalMart Ollie strode purposely toward the health and beauty products aisle.
``Not more razors,'' groaned one of his aides.
``No swivels, Colonel,'' called out another.
Moments later North emerged from the aisle with a package of Gillette disposable razors.
``Razors. I knew it,'' moaned yet another. ``We've got a whole drawer full of those.''
Later, a WalMart worker cornered North and asked if he regularly shops at the chain.
``I sure do,'' he said. ``We have two to choose from at home now. I got my last pair of glasses at WalMart.''
``Oh, at our vision center, '' gushed the woman. ``You've got my vote.''
Once the thrill of modest purchases was over, the press corps' adrenaline was really pumping.
``Baby alert, baby alert,'' bellowed one photographer, as the other cameramen jumped boxes and a chain barrier to get near North, tickling the bare toes of a baby boy.
Thus was Aaron Hoopingarner, age 7 months, thrust unwittingly into the national political limelight. He seemed to hold his water better than the newsies.
Later North wandered into a McDonald's, leaning on a table where a woman was lunching with her three young children.
Reporters edged in close to eavesdrop. Photographers and television cameramen elbowed each other for angles.
One photographer, clenching a stinking Tiparillo between his teeth, got down on his knees, then, finding his view obscured by one little boy's Happy Meal bag, grabbed the offending sack and tossed it to another table. He ignored the crushed look on the boy's face, which was fading into a pall of rancid cigar smoke.
``It was empty,'' the photographer snarled when somebody complained about him looting the kid's lunch.
The press corps' foul humor that day could be traced to the very first stop, where they were subjected to a rousing rendition of the ``Oliver North Song'' at a rally outside of Republican Party Headquarters in Newport News.
Bennie Nelson, a 38-year-old North campaign worker and NASA computer wonk, grabbed his 12-string Epiphone acoustic guitar and walked to a microphone.
The party faithful knew what was coming. It was a Nelson original that is something of a campaign anthem. He first sang it in the Jefferson Hotel in Richmond during the Republican Convention in June. (Several of the monuments outside are still standing.)
Since then the song's monotonous chorus has echoed through North fund-raisers and parties.
Although Nelson mostly sings gospel, he admitted that the Oliver North ditty is proving his most popular tune.
``Virginia once elected a Marine.
We thought he was squeaky clean.
We got wiretaps, coke and a beauty queen.
Mr. Robb, is that what you think semper fi means?
and the chorus:
We've gotta chuck Robb and elect Ollie North
We've gotta chuck Robb and elect Ollie North
We've gotta chuck Robb and elect Ollie North
To be the next sen-a-tor from Virginia.''
To hear the full version, in Nelson's own voice, call Infoline, 640-5555 and press OLLI (6554).
Warning: After two verses of this you'll be begging Ollie North to whack you on the head with his new Stanley hammer.
KEYWORDS: U.S. SENATE RACE VIRGINIA CANDIDATES
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