THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, October 16, 1994 TAG: 9410140464
SECTION: HAMPTON ROADS WOMAN PAGE: 02 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: YOUR TURN
SOURCE: BY PHYLLIS CARR JOHNSON, SPECIAL TO HAMPTON ROADS WOMAN
LENGTH: Medium: 56 lines
SOME PEOPLE hate me because I can't read. Well, they don't really hate me. I can read. But these people, a.k.a. my family members, greatly dislike it when I don't take time to carefully read a package before making a purchase. Then I go home to be greeted with groans over mistakes.
How many times do you rush into a store, grab a bag of pretzels or six-pack of drinks without pausing long enough to read the label from one end to the other? I have been guilty of this more times than I can remember.
I recall several times I have bought caffeine-free QV diet cola when none of us like diet drinks. The cans looked so much like the caffeine-free Coke that I assumed they were what I wanted.
On occasion I have bought salt-free Ritz crackers. You might as well be eating dry toast than have crackers without the salt. I know it might be healthier, but we're talking taste here.
I've mistakenly grabbed sugar-free ice creams bars that were so dry it felt as if you had been in Antarctica with your mouth open for 30 minutes.
Buying extra-hot instead of mild products raises a ruckus, too. ``Can't you read?'' a family member with arched eyebrows asks me. I shrug my shoulders and try to act as innocent as possible. Life goes on and complaints subside until I make another big, rushed grocery haul. Then, typically there'd be an item or two that wasn't up to par - milk with the wrong fat content or cheese that is too sharp or not sharp enough.
While we're talking about ways to mess up, buying macaroni takes a bit of concentration. Shape does make a difference.
I've accidentally bought vinegar-flavored potato chips and was encouraged to enjoy them all by myself. I've been guilty of picking up the wrong toothpaste and was invited to enjoy its use, after which I discovered what all the fuss was about. I thought I'd never see the end of that tube.
The real villain here is that I'm in too much of a rush. I'm sorting coupons, looking at my list, counting in my head, thinking ahead to the next row and stopping to speak to folks I know. Who has time to read everything on each item? I don't.
Unfortunately, I can't blame poor eyesight on this problem. But it has created another mishap. One morning I tried to apply deodorant before putting in my contacts. My armpits were guaranteed that day to have no static electricity because the Arrid can and the Static Guard can looked too similar for someone half-blind that early in the morning to tell the difference.
Maybe I should arm myself with Static Guard after a grocery shopping trip. There are days when it would come in handy. ILLUSTRATION: Photo
Phyllis Carr Johnson is a resident of Chesapeake.
by CNB