THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, November 5, 1994 TAG: 9411040093
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Larry Maddry
LENGTH: Medium: 83 lines
I WAS TEMPTED to say heckno to Tekno Comix from the minute I heard about them.
There was, of course, the spelling. Amazing what Madison Avenue word merchants can concoct after a sushi bar lunch.
Scene: Ad agency boardroom at 2 p.m. Blinds drawn. The thinkers huddled around a kidney-shaped table.
The agency veep rolls up the sleeves of his Brooks Brothers shirt and outlines the agenda.
``Here's the game plan in a nanosecond, space trekkies. We need a name for a new breed of futuristic comic books replete with space aliens that can be shown on personal computers. We want something on the cutting edge of cyberspace. Forget conventional spellings. Pretend you are Dan Quayle.''
The result is Tekno Comix. Well, almost. That little black in the middle was pure genyuz as we teknospeakers say. Wonder what it's called?.
Alas, what is to happen to the poor, lowly pulp comic book? Although the comix will be available in paper form, you can see where this is heading. Holy Moly, Batman, does this mean the joy of outwitting parents is over?
Try to remember . . . oh, try to remember, as they say in the song. You are a kid again. It is 10:30 p.m. and you are deep into Batman's latest encounter with the Joker when your mother's voice reaches the top of the stairs.
``It's bedtime,'' she shouts. ``Turn out that light this instant and go to sleep.''
``Right, mom.''
Remember the joy of snapping on a flashlight, making a tent of the bed covers with your knees and shining a silver Eveready beam over the pages of the comic book until you had reached the last page?
Tekno Comix can be read on a personal computer with the lights out, natch. But it isn't the same. If you are going to sit up in a chair and tap keys on your computer, you might as well be doing your homework. The thrill of intrigue is gone. It's like stealing watermelons with the grower's permission.
It is by such tekno inkrements that the pleasures of youth are taken. (Come to think of it, maybe that is a teknological inkrement.)
Well, today's youth probably won't care what they are missing once they have been bedazzled by the Tekno Comix Kiosk and Interactive Entertainment Center at Lynnhaven Mall today.
Yep, the future is now. And Mr. Spock - wouldn't you know it? - is at the control panel.
The kiosk features 16 video monitors for viewing comix created by Leonard Nimoy (Mr. Spock in Star Trek) and other comix spewing from the tekno-brains of space-hip writers, including detective novelist Mickey Spillane. (Could it be that the is something that dripped from an ink pen and is called a Spillane?) The kiosk also features an interactive CD-Rom gameport and the latest in high-tech computer games, the 3DO. (Don't ask me what a CD-Rom gameport is. I'm still working on the .)
You may well ask yourself what Mr. Spock - excuse me - Leonard Nimoy is doing creating comics, er, comix.
Well, according to the Tekno-Comix-Tekno-Info Kommittee, he is the only person in L.A. who hasn't been glued to the O.J. Simpson murder trial prelims on TV.
Not he. Nimoy, we are told, has been traveling to San Jose, ``where he has been studying the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence Institute's radio telescopes and listening for signals that might be generated by civilizations on other planets.'
Whooweeoooo.
I think he had his pointy ear to the ground and was searching for something to make money.
Anyway, Nimoy's comix book line is called Leonard Nimoy's Primortals. The first issue of the comix is about an alien civilization coming to Earth. The creature on the cover - who looks like a rhino version of Dan Rostenkowski - appears mean enough to take on Sweetpea Whitaker or even Captain Nauticus.
Hey, wait a minute, why don't we forget computer comix and go back to the good ol' days. Tell you what, kids, just form a circle here and let's see who can say ``Tekno Comix Kiosk and Interactive Entertainment Center'' the fastest without making a mistake?
Winner gets a bag of M&Ms. ILLUSTRATION: Color photo of "Primortals" cover
by CNB