THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, November 13, 1994 TAG: 9411100197
SECTION: CAROLINA COAST PAGE: 03 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Coastwise
SOURCE: Ford Reid
LENGTH: Medium: 71 lines
Despite all of the acrimony leading up to last week's elections, there is one thing on which all of the politicians - all of them, Democrats, Republicans and Perotistas - agree.
All modern politicians believe in opinion polls.
This is scary.
Every politician in America thinks he or she knows what you are thinking.
It's kind of creepy, isn't it? I mean, the notion of Newt Gingrich or Teddy Kennedy thinking that he knows what is on your mind is disconcerting at the least.
Listen to them. Not a politician can open his mouth without saying that it is clear that the American people want this or that they don't want that. Then they back that up with poll numbers. Lots and lots of poll numbers on any subject that you can name.
Want to know how the American people think about left-handed welfare recipients with graduate degrees? A politician can cite the poll numbers. Interested in knowing what you think about foreign aid to countries that are larger than Roanoke Island but smaller Hyde County? A politician can rattle off the numbers in some detail.
But we have an ace in the hole. We are not always fully forthcoming with the pollsters.
What the heck, let's be honest here.
We lie to them.
We don't always mean to lie. It just happens.
Whenever a newspaper does a poll, which they call reader surveys, they find that everyone reads the editorials and is intensely interested in serious, penetrating news stories.
Rarely does anyone admit that he buys the paper only to read box scores and comic strips.
The poll takers, who have made polling one of the nation's true growth industries, point out that a poll is, at best, a sort of snapshot. Kind of like going down to the beach at slack water on a calm day and taking a picture of the flat ocean. Never mind that it might be roaring an hour later, you've got proof that the broad Atlantic is placid as a Nebraska farm pond.
If you have ever been polled, you have some idea of how accurate these things are.
To begin with, the pollster always takes you by surprise. You have been thinking about finally fixing that drain leaking under the kitchen sink or raking last year's leaves when suddenly you find yourself on the telephone discussing the great issues and challenges facing the Republic.
``Would you be more or less likely to vote for a candidate if he was seen in public wearing alligator shoes?'' the pollster asks and you are thinking ``Is that drain pipe two inches or two and a quarter?''
Exit polls are particularly bizarre.
Think about it.
When you vote, you are usually on your way to work in the morning or on your way home in the afternoon. You have completed your civic duty and, although you are feeling very good about yourself, you are anxious to get on with your day.
But there is some bozo with a clipboard asking you not only who you voted for, which is nobody's business, but why. If you give him honest, thoughtful answers you are a genius and a saint.
More likely, you answer quickly, saying anything to get away from the guy.
But politicians will take those answers and use them to tell you what you are thinking.
I say, let them keep on thinking that they know what we are thinking.
We know better. At least, I think we do. by CNB