THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, November 18, 1994 TAG: 9411160142
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: L3 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY GARY EDWARDS, CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Medium: 81 lines
Chris Fulp feels safer when his dad is at home, but says he has to be a stronger person when his dad is away.
Chris, 10 and a fourth-grader at Ocean Lakes Elementary School, told guidance counselor Madeline Day and four classmates about this feeling during a meeting of military deployment students, those with parents away on military assignments.
Day and her colleague, Honey Wallen, conduct the once-a-week sessions to allow students to discuss their feelings, learn more about the military and develop closer ties with those in similar circumstances. Military deployment groups have been conducted at Ocean Lakes for five years, said Day. They are also offered throughout the Virginia Beach school system.
Katrina Davis, 9, told the group that her dad wrote her a long letter, and that she and her sister, Adria, will visit their father's home in Alabama when he returns soon. Adria wore a USS Puget Sound T-shirt that her father sent her.
Ocean Lakes Citizen of the Month Jordan Noe said that being a military dependent has enabled him to move around often and make new friends. Jordan and Chris are especially close friends. Their fathers serve on the same ship and their mothers get together often, said Wallen.
Day and Wallen have 15 groups of military deployment students. Wallen conducts the classes for kindergarten, second- and fourth-graders; Day, for first-, third- and fifth-graders and special-needs students. Students attend the groups only when their parents are actually away.
Pictures of dads and dads' ships line the wall around a map of the world in Day's office. The deployment groups last 30 minutes and children sit on bean bag chairs or pillows, talk freely to the guidance counselors and participate in structured activities.
``What are two things that you think dad has missed since he's been away?'' Day asked a group.
``He's missed my mom and tacos,'' said Kyle Morgan, 10, a fifth-grader.
``Shopping, computer magazines and . . . mom,'' Wendy Myers said.
Kyle and Wendy and two of the other students in this group have fathers returning in the next few weeks.
The fifth, Kelly Crupper, just watched her father sail out on the aircraft carrier Eisenhower a couple of weeks ago. The ship is on a six-month deployment.
``Homecoming brings with it excitement, but changes, too, doesn't it?'' Day asked.
The students agreed that it does, citing everything from being able to play outside later to not having to cut the grass for a while.
Military jargon comes up frequently.
``We explain terms,'' said Day. ``Gedunk, for instance.'' (Civilians know gedunk as junk food.)
There are more serious moments, of course. During the recent Haitian crisis, students were encouraged to come in to the guidance counselors' offices if they needed to talk one-on-one.
``They know we have an open-door policy,'' said Wallen. ``Sometimes, a kid will come by just to let us know that dad called last night.''
Day added, ``Navy Family Service has been a valuable resource. They called prior to the start of school and faxed us a schedule of the ship departures.''
Although most of the students have parents in the Navy, the groups are for dependents of all branches of service.
The groups have been a learning experience for one of the teachers, too. Wallen, the non-military guidance counselor, learns as she goes along from Day, the military wife.
``My husband is going to leave in March,'' said Day. ILLUSTRATION: Photos by PETER D. SUNDBERG
Photos of student's parents who are deployed are posted by a map
showing where they are serving.
Madeline Day leads a discussion on coping with deployments for, left
to right, Reggie Durana, 9; Cheryl Reynolds, 9; Chris, Fulp, 10;
Jordan Noe, 10; and Katrina Davis, 9.
by CNB