THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, November 30, 1994 TAG: 9411300467
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B01 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MARIE JOYCE, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: CHESAPEAKE LENGTH: Long : 156 lines
If Dr. Sidney Loxley had it to do again, things would be different.
He would fly to the Dominican Republic and get a quickie divorce. Then he would walk across the street and marry the girl he loves.
He didn't do that, and things fell apart. He was barred from his profession, his marriage broke up and he served five weeks in jail for having an affair with a 17-year-old who was also his patient.
Now he is patching his life together at age 52.
It's a November afternoon, and Loxley is sitting in the empty waiting room of his office. He's wearing professional attire - a conservative white shirt and brown pants. But a tie with a colorful picture of lions - echoing the whimsical lions on the waiting room wallpaper - hints at a sense of humor.
He is smiling.
Partially, it's because Loxley, an orthopedic surgeon, recently regained his license to practice and reopened his office on Battlefield Boulevard this month.
Mostly, it's because of the young woman who sits next to him.
Cheri Loxley, the 17-year-old patient he loved, is now his wife. Now 19 and a student at Tidewater Community College, she plans to become a clinical psychologist working with children.
She traveled a hard road, too. Her relationship with her parents disintegrated, and she suffered when she believed at one point that Sidney Loxley had betrayed her.
They hold hands a lot, and they share the little jokes and asides of newlyweds. A lot of people opposed this match. The Loxleys are determined to make it work.
``It's not that hard,'' Cheri says with a little laugh, and she pinches her husband's cheek. They both blush.
She looks the part of the college student, wearing a black T-shirt, jeans and running shoes. A cross hangs around her neck, and on her ring finger glitters a heart-shaped diamond.
She had known him for years before their affair, visiting him for various ailments as she was growing up. He was a friend of the family. He had tended to other family members, and they even belonged to the same church for a time.
She first visited his office when she was 11. She had fallen and hurt her wrist while playing basketball.
He laughs when he remembers that encounter.
Her right wrist was broken, but the way she was sitting when he entered the examining room made him think she had hurt her left wrist.
He carefully prodded and moved the left wrist, asking ``Does this hurt? Does this hurt?''
Each time, she answered soberly, ``No.''
He couldn't find anything wrong.
Finally, he asked: ``Where does it hurt?''
Still wearing a serious expression, she pointed to her right wrist.
He might have been annoyed, but when he saw the sparkle in her eyes, he just couldn't get angry.
He was impressed by the strength of a little girl who could handle pain with humor.
Cheri says she first thought of him as more than a friend on the Halloween before her 17th birthday, in 1991. She and some friends had come to his house for trick-or-treat. She was dressed like a baby - wearing old-fashioned, drop-bottom pajamas with her hair in pigtails, and she carried a baby bottle and pacifier.
As she talked with him, she realized that she didn't want to leave.
Her husband said it took him longer to realize that he loved her. At first, they were friends and confidants.
She told him her deepest thoughts. She encouraged him to talk about his innermost feelings, something he wasn't used to doing. ``She has an immense kindness . . . a very large heart.''
She noticed his gentleness, and the thoughtful way he treated her. By that January, they were more than friends.
At the time, Loxley had a wife, a large, successful practice and a big home on eight acres. But, he says, he wasn't happy in his marriage.
That January, he treated Cheri for a knee problem. It was the third knee surgery he had performed on her in three years.
He started visiting Cheri at her family's house.
He and Cheri went on walks together. He took her to dinner and the movies, horseback riding and to the beach. She sometimes arranged to take his last scheduled appointment on Fridays so they could see each other away from her family.
He was arrested in June.
Her parents said they filed the complaint after he ignored their demands that he stop seeing Cheri.
Cheri testified against Loxley at his trial in Juvenile Court. She regrets it now. She says her parents and other people had persuaded her that he was having affairs with other young women.
He was convicted of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a misdemeanor. He appealed, then agreed to a plea bargain that included a 90-day jail sentence.
During the appeal, they reconciled. She no longer believed what other people had told her, she says.
Chesapeake General Hospital suspended his staff privileges, and in June 1993, the state Board of Medicine suspended his license to practice medicine in Virginia.
Loxley spent about five weeks in jail.
He was released in late November 1992. In early December, a few days before her 18th birthday, Cheri left home. For the next few months, she lived with friends and continued to see him.
They married on Feb. 19, 1993, the day after his divorce became official.
After he lost his license, he spent his time studying. The Board of Medicine reinstated him last month.
It might be easier to rebuild somewhere else, start fresh where people don't know his name, but the Loxleys say they never considered that.
Sidney's two adult children and two grandchildren live here. He was a charter member of the staff of Chesapeake General Hospital when it opened in the mid-'70s. And Cheri's roots are in Chesapeake, too.
``We have no desire to go anywhere else,'' he said.
It hasn't been easy.
They've been barraged with harassing phone calls, though their number is unlisted. Cheri won't describe the messages, other than to say they're ``blunt.''
They're still estranged from Cheri's parents.
On the other hand, Loxley's ex-wife said she bears them no ill will.
``I wish them happiness,'' said Jean Loxley, and she praised his skill and compassion as a doctor.
Although Loxley was able to get his license back, he isn't sure whether he'll be able to obtain malpractice insurance because of his suspension. No insurance means no hospital privileges, and a surgeon needs access to operating rooms.
He is seeing patients in his office for problems like arthritis. He had eight patients on the day he reopened in early November. He has rehired one member of his former staff.
The couple have learned something from their ordeal. They say they know who their real friends are - and there are enough that Cheri was able to arrange a surprise party to celebrate when Sidney got his license back.
And the problems tempered their relationship.
``We had to fight so hard to get each other,'' says Cheri.
They say they've learned to express their needs and to be honest with each other. They try to respect each other's boundaries and apologize when things go wrong.
They laugh a lot, and they quibble about silly things.
``Potatoes,'' says Cheri.
``Yeah, what was that about potatoes?'' he adds. ``I don't remember.''
``I wanted mashed potatoes and he wanted baked potatoes or something like that . . .''
He finishes the story. ``As soon as she found out that I wanted something different, then she wanted to change. When I found out she wanted something different, I changed to hers.
``So then we fought about that.''
They're both laughing.
The tie Sidney wears, the one with the lions, was a Christmas gift from Cheri. They like lions, in part because they say big cats are misunderstood.
``Lions are very peaceful animals,'' says Cheri. But many people think of them as ferocious.
``I guess it's because people don't see them when they're with their mate or their young ones.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
by CNB