THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, December 2, 1994 TAG: 9412010065
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: LISTEN UP!
LENGTH: Medium: 59 lines
DEAR SMITHA AND JONATHAN,
I am 17 and have a younger sister who is 13. My sister always eats and is already bigger than I am. She finishes entire boxes of donuts and gets mad at me if I suggest she eat an apple instead. She never stays on a diet, and I'm worried about her health. Does she have an eating disorder? What can I do to help? - Worried sister
Dear Worried,
How and why somebody eats is an extremely touchy issue, especially in today's body-conscious world where teenage eating disorders are at an all-time high. You are right to be concerned, and your sister is lucky to have someone who cares.
What your sister has may or may not be an ``eating disorder.'' On one hand, she is young and still growing, so it is only natural to eat when hungry. On the other hand, she has a problem if she eats to cope with stress or if her mental well-being is determined by her weight, or what she has eaten.
She may also be in the beginning stages of yo-yo dieting (dieting and losing weight, then gaining it back and then taking it off in cycles). Anyone who diets too strictly is prone to go on eating binges eventually.
Either way, it sounds like your sister has some unhealthy eating habits, and if she is seriously overweight, it is a problem that will get worse as your sister gets older.
Although your sister's habits are a reason to be concerned, you cannot stop them. Ultimately, she's the only one who can control what she puts in her mouth. Harping on her to eat right will NOT help; it will probably make matters worse by making her feel judged and controlled. Thirteen is a very confusing age, both physically and mentally, and added insecurities can be crushing.
Avoid playing the food patrol. If nothing else, this will ease the tension between the two of you.
Figure out how to approach her without putting her on the defensive. Try talking to her when she is relaxed (not after she has eaten a whole box of donuts) and tell her you are concerned about her and ask her what SHE thinks you can do to help. Also, actions speak louder than words. Instead of telling her to eat better, why not get everyone in the house to eat healthy. Stocking up on fruits and vegetables as opposed to ice cream and cake should help. Your sister will be less tempted to eat high-fat food when it is not easily accessible. If she is seriously overweight, she may want to follow a health program prescribed by a doctor, but this should be her decision.
Breaking the bad eating habits is incredibly difficult, so don't expect things to get better overnight. You or your sister can also call 456-1530 for information on Overeaters Anonymous. MEMO: Smitha Gottimukkala is a senior at Norfolk Academy and Jonathan Kolm is
a senior at Tallwood High. Their column appears biweekly in Teenology.
They accept questions on INFOLINE. Call 640-5555 and enter category
8335. Or write to them at 4565 Virginia Beach Blvd., Virginia Beach, Va.
23462. by CNB