THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT 
              Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Wednesday, December 7, 1994            TAG: 9412060010
SECTION: FRONT                    PAGE: A12  EDITION: FINAL 
TYPE: Letter 
                                             LENGTH: Short :   47 lines

MAN'S LOT, AND WOMAN'S

Regarding your report concerning the new ``men's movement'' (``Are we not men?'' Daily Break, Nov. 28):

If these men could truly change places with women (including actually having the female physique), I am sure that their ambivalence toward their role in society would disappear.

A woman in today's world is not only expected to be a loving mother whose children must be perfect (If they are not, then it is her fault), but she is also expected to keep a spotless home that is tastefully decorated and to be a wonderful cook who can create a delicious meal that is also healthful, inexpensive and can be prepared with very little time.

She must maintain her figure and must dress attractively while she works full time. At her place of employment she must be professional and efficient and somehow manage to be a fabulous mother while never taking time off, even when her children are ill.

She must never be late for work, and she must be willing to work overtime, all the while accomplishing the raising of children who must never feel neglected.

She must be attractive enough to be considered sexual but not so attractive that she is considered too sexual.

She is also expected to always look 20 years younger than she is, and her position in society is often based on her physical appearance - as she juggles all of the above.

If she is somehow able to accomplish all of this while appearing less than attractive, then she has failed.

Is every woman able to succeed in fulfilling all of these requirements? Of course not. But every woman must bear the burden of guilt when she fails in any of the aforementioned categories.

I find it difficult to be too sympathetic with men whose only burden in life is financial success. I hope that they do not exhaust themselves mentally while trying to understand how to be fully male while also being sensitive to the needs of others.

SUSAN DENLEY

Virginia Beach, Nov. 28, 1994 by CNB