THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT 
              Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Friday, December 9, 1994               TAG: 9412090062
SECTION: DAILY BREAK              PAGE: E13  EDITION: FINAL 
SOURCE: BY JOHNNY DUNN, HIGH SCHOOL CORRESPONDENT 
                                             LENGTH: Short :   35 lines

MALE SHOPPING: A DRIVE-THROUGH WOULD BE BEST

HE SAID. . .

``Let's go shopping.'' Typical male translation: Let's locate. Let's not try on. Let's pay.

This process would most likely be shorter if department stores would follow a ``drive-through'' format. A procession of cars would follow the yellow arrows (no drive-through is complete without them) until their turn came to place an order.

All of the current specials and outfit combos would be displayed in glass cases leading up to the window. Fathers shopping with their children would have the option to purchase ``happy deals'' that include toys and gadgets to entertain them.

Getting down to it, males are very childish when it comes to shopping. Why try things on when there is no need? If the pants, for instance, are too big - get a belt. If they seem too small - what guy couldn't use another pair of cut-offs? How males obtain what they wear isn't of importance. Thus, neither is shopping. MEMO: This article first appeared in the Falcon Press, Cox's student

newspaper. ILLUSTRATION: Photo

Johnny Dunn is a senior at Cox.

by CNB