THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, December 11, 1994 TAG: 9412090068
SECTION: FLAVOR PAGE: F1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY RUTH FANTASIA, THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT/LEDGER-STAR STAFF
LENGTH: Long : 184 lines
Many people use plastic glasses for cocktail parties in their own home. I do not. I think it is tacky. - Amy Vanderbilt, 1978
CALL THEM FETES, call them soirees - the holidays are cocktail party season. And everyone from Amy Vanderbilt to Miss Manners has her standards for etiquette.
New on the party-planning circuit is Leslie Brenner, whose ``Art of the Cocktail Party'' (Plume/Penguin, 1994) lays down 10 rules - from no kids to no beer - for the aspiring host or hostess.
And while her guidelines might go over well in New York City, where Brenner writes for newspapers and magazines, we wanted to know how Hampton Roads celebrates the cocktail party. So we asked some local experts.
Here are their responses to Brenner's maxims, along with some suggestions for your holiday gala.
Rule No. 1: A cocktail party is not a dinner party.
``Good rule,'' says Jan Acela, director of catering at the Breezy Point Officers' Club in Norfolk. ``I like that because people always think they are coming to dinner when it clearly says `cocktail party' on the invitation.''
To keep guests from looking forward to a meal, time your party to end before 5 p.m. or begin after 7 p.m., Acela says. Most cocktail parties last about two hours.
Rule No. 2: Cocktail parties are not for children.
If it's your kids in question, spring for a baby sitter. One that will sit for them outside of your home.
Acela agrees: ``Children are meant to be left at home sometimes - often, even.''
But Robin Ingram, chairman of the Chrysler Museum's Historic House Friends group, which recently hosted a cocktail party, disagrees.
``My children have woven in and out of cocktail parties for years,'' says Ingram. ``If you are not included when you are a child, how do you know how to do things when you grow up?
Rule No. 3: No beer.
Beer is frowned upon, at best. It simply doesn't belong at a cocktail party. . . . If someone asks for one, just wrinkle your nose, look quizzically at your guest, and say, ``Beer?'' as if you've never heard of it before.
Wrong, says Christian A. Barney, beverage instructor at Johnson & Wales University in Norfolk. If someone requests beer, ask whether they'd like Corona or Samuel Adams.
``It's really kind of a hot thing right now to have beer,'' Barney says. ``Especially microbrews. I do recommend you have glasses available to pour the beer into, however.''
What else should you have?
Vodka, gin, bourbon and a premium scotch, Barney says. ``You can include blended whiskeys if you have a lot of Northerners coming.''
More importantly, buy quality liquors. ``You'll use less of them than you would if you bought cheap stuff,'' Barney says.
For mixers, limit your juices to orange, grapefruit and cranberry, then add a cola, tonic water and ginger ale. A small bottle of vermouth should be sufficient, in case you have a few martini drinkers, Barney says.
Plastic cups, while tolerated by most etiquette books, remove a vital part of cocktail party ambience - the tinkling of ice in the glasses.
If you haven't enough glasses, you can rent rocks and highball glasses for about 25 cents each. Martini glasses are in short supply on the rental market, but you can pick up a few at a department store or kitchen shop.
Rule No. 4: A lemon is not a lime.
Barney of Johnson & Wales agrees. ``A lime could very easily alter the flavor of a drink if you're supposed to use a lemon,'' he says.
``Generally, you're trying to get the juice out of a lime. With the lemon, you're just trying to get the oil out of the peel.''
Additional garnishes to have on hand: cherries, orange slices and olives.
And don't forget the hot stuff.
``People love to put hot things in martinis, like jalapeno-filled olives,'' says Peter Coe, owner of Taste Unlimited in Norfolk and Virginia Beach.
Have one of those swirly little stacks of cocktail napkins on the bar too. They make iced drinks more comfortable to hold, and help prevent drips.
Simply place a large stack of napkins in one hand, top the stack with an upside-down saucer and turn the saucer.
When mixing drinks, Barney says, put the ice in the glass first, use a shot glass or some other measure, and make sure your glassware is clean.
Barney also suggests you:
Have plenty of alcohol-free drinks available.
Keep guests mingling. People who sit in the dark or alone are apt to drink more.
Play games. If people have something to do with their hands, they pick up a drink less often. It also helps you estimate their coordination.
Divert the overimbibed and keep them from leaving. Only time will bring sobriety.
Make sure at least one host is a designated driver, or hire a limo for the night to drive guests home.
Hire a professional bartender. ``It removes the responsibility (from the host) of cutting someone off,'' says Barney. Local caterers usually can provide you with a bartender. Or check with Johnson & Wales or an area bartending school for a student.
Rule No. 5: If you need a fork to eat it, forget about it.
``It's hard to juggle a fork and a plate and a drink,'' says Breezy Point's Acela.
Although, the juggling act can prevent people from overimbibing, odds are they'll give up on the eating instead of the drinking, experts say.
Keep canapes simple, something that can be eaten in one or two bites. But that doesn't mean you have to settle for stuffed eggs and rumaki.
``We're seeing an influence of Thai foods,'' says Taste Unlimited's Coe. ``There are more roasted and grilled veggies and meats.''
Cucumber appetizers are quick and easty. And, Tiny Cheese Puffs can be made ahead and reheated as the party progresses.
If you can't stand to see people eat with their fingers, invest in a couple of boxes of frilly toothpicks.
Rule No. 6: No one but you touches the stereo.
``There's someone in every crowd that wants to do the Boot-Scoop Boogie so you have to have something for everybody,'' Acela says.
If you don't, plan on someone else ruling the stereo.
Rule No. 7: No sitting.
Remove all chairs, love seats, divans and chaise lounges. (If you can't move your sofa, find some large pointy objects . . . to store on it to discourage sitting.)
``She must have young guests,'' the Chrysler's Ingram says of author Brenner. ``I don't provide rows of chairs but the baby boomers are aging. The hostess's first priority, first responsibility, is to make her guests comfortable.''
Acela agrees. ``Sometimes you have older people attending. I'm a real fan of perimeter chairs.
Rule No. 8: No glaring overhead lights.
``Lighting should be subdued so everyone looks pretty,'' says Acela.
Rule No. 9: Relax.
If you're miserable, your guests will be too.
``This is rule Number One,'' Ingram says. ``What's the point of having a party if you're having a wretched time?''
Says Acela: ``You have to put everything behind you so the guests will be in the same mood that you are in.''
Rule No. 10: Everyone must leave by the appointed hour.
``I certainly don't think I'd want to go to her parties,'' Ingram quips. ``I don't think she's very gracious.'' ILLUSTRATION: BETH BERGMAN/Staff color photos
Have plenty of garnishes on hand, including lime, lemon and orange
slices, cherries and olives.
Instead of dishes that require a fork, serve finger food such as
Caviar Canapes (above) or stuffed Cucumber Gems (left).
Alcohol-free drinks, such as the Water Cocktail pictured below, can
look pretty, too.
Have ``hot stuff'' available for guests to add to their martinis,
such as jalapeno peppers or jalapeno-stuffed olives.
Graphic
VOICES OF ETIQUETTE-PAST
How far have we come as hosts? Here are some voices of
cocktail-party etiquette from the past:
``People are supposed to keep track of their own glasses at
cocktail parties in anticipation of refills, but they never do. A
wise hostess equips herself with three times the number of glasses
as guests.''
Amy Vanderbilt, 1958
``A large cocktail party at home invariably mean some damage to
your furnishings. If you have a prized object, put it away.''
Amy Vanderbilt, 1978
``You no longer have to furnish cigarettes for your guests (they
are supposed to bring their own), but you should put pocket matches
around and large cheap ashtrays in quantity. . . ''
Amy Vanderbilt, 1978
``The cocktail party is a perfectly dreadful event, and Miss
Manners was planning to ignore it in the hope that it would go
away.''
Judith Martin, 1982
``When a woman who lives alone gives a large cocktail party, she
may wish to hire a man to bartend for her.''
Elizabeth L. Post, 1984
``When I go to cocktail parties, I'm always out of sorts.
Everybody else seems to be engrossed in the most interesting and
witty conversations. I guess I'm too busy concentrating on my tired
feet rather than on the people around me - there's liquor, liquor
everywhere but not a seat in sight.''
Charlotte Ford, 1988
by CNB