LENGTH: Medium: 64 lines

TAX SCANDAL WILL EXPLODE IF OLD-TIMERS GO TO COURT

Who's next? Darryl Strawberry's arraignment on felony tax evasion is not a big scandal; trouble always finds Strawberry. A genuine controversy in the autographs-for-cash racket will arise when the IRS drags a lovable old-timer into court.

Combo deluxe: Steve Young/ Jerry Rice should be a single entry in the NFL's MVP derby.

Comeback: Terry Holland as U.Va.'s next director of athletics? What's taking the school so long?

From third to first: Of this year's candidates, only Mike Schmidt is a shoe-in for the Hall of Fame, which could use more third basemen. Only seven are in Cooperstown.

Glutton for punishment: After reading that tennis showoff Andre Agassi has seen girlfriend Brooke Shields perform in ``Grease'' 14 times, I will never again question his toughness.

The peace process: If Jimmy Carter really wants to test his diplomatic skills, he should drop in on the baseball negotiations.

Easy rider: Don Shula should search the glove compartment of his golf cart for a map to help his Miami Dolphins locate the Super Bowl game.

Sideline insanity: Golf carts may be OK for football, but some basketball coaches should be made to work from cages.

The count is on: Fading boxing legend Julio Cesar Chavez, 93-1-1, will get to the century mark in fights without getting around to Sweetpea Whitaker again.

Hypocrisy revisited: The signing of Greg Jefferies by the Phillies to a four-year, $20 million contract is only the latest transaction that puts the lie to the owners' claims that they crave cost containment.

Changing times: Only one foreign-born player participated in the NCAA soccer Final Four last week. There's a good chance there will be more foreigners than that among the Final Four basketball teams.

Kicking up their heels: Only America's stubborn resistance to soccer keeps Virginia from receiving the attention it deserves for its four consecutive NCAA titles.

The more things change: In the Sagarin basketball computer rankings that run in USA Today, North Carolina and Duke are 1-2, respectively.

Run and stun: After five games, Paul Westhead's basketball team at George Mason was averaging 117.4 points.

No escaping it: Next year's Heisman watch starts ticking as soon as the bowl games end.

Bad actor: Those of us who don't like to blame a team's failures on one player will make an exception in the case of Randall Cunningham. The whining, finger-pointing Philadelphia Eagles quarterback is way out of touch with his teammates - and reality.

In no hurry: Jimmy Johnson is willing to wait one more year for the deal he wants from the Dolphins. In the meantime, he's still got the hair for television.

The way they were: When Darrell Green says that the old, winning Redskins teams had ``more character in the locker room,'' he must be forgetting Dexter Manley.

The long haul: The Orlando Magic won't be taken seriously until they win a playoff game.

Quick hit: The NFL playoffs can't start soon enough. by CNB