THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, December 18, 1994 TAG: 9412150179
SECTION: CAROLINA COAST PAGE: 03 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: Coastwise
SOURCE: Ford Reid
LENGTH: Medium: 59 lines
I know a family that has its worst fight each year while decorating the Christmas tree.
The mother complains that the father puts the lights on crooked, the father says that the mother never learned to spread tinsel on the tree and the mother retorts that she hates tinsel anyway and she wouldn't have to mess with it if it wasn't his family's stupid tradition.
The kids, meanwhile, are playing catch with antique glass ornaments and fighting about whose turn it is to put the angel on the top of the tree.
During the rest of the year, these people constitute a loving family. They stick together and defend each other. They love each other.
Christmas, it seems, makes them a little crazy.
All of America, it appears to me, is divided into people who love Christmas too much and people who don't love Christmas enough.
Think about it. When was the last time you heard someone say, ``I like Christmas all right, I guess.''
It's not bloody likely that you will ever hear that.
What you will hear is people gushing about this being the best time of the year and people moaning that the pressures of the season are way too much to bear.
For the Christmas lovers, nothing can go wrong in December. The crowds, the traffic, the catalog sales clerks that want to back order until February every gift that you try to buy, are all part of the festive season.
I used to know a woman who was a horrible nag for 49 weeks of the year. But come the fourth of December she turned into Little Mary Sunshine.
Cloudy days, surly people, even a husband coming home late with a bit of whiskey on his breath could not dampen her Christmas spirit.
The rest of the year she thought that music was a frivolous waste of time. But in December, she started humming ``Here Comes Santa Claus'' before she got out of bed in the morning and fell asleep with ``Silent Night'' on her lips.
Among those who like Christmas not much are many of the millions of poor souls who labor in the retail trades.
My wife and several of my children have been among those more often than not. Among them, they have worked in department stores, specialty shops, discount houses and hardware stores. I have, as our president says, shared their pain.
By the time Christmas Day arrives, they are too exhausted to enjoy it. More than a day of celebration, it is a rare chance to catch up on sleep.
My wife thinks that the only fair solution is to celebrate another holiday, preferably in February. And not some minor holiday like Valentine's either, but a full-blown, close-the-banks, stop-the-mail blowout.
The only thing is that it would be illegal to give gifts, or do anything else that would create work for retail employees.
Until then, she will have to suffer the excesses of those among us who love Christmas too much. by CNB