THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, January 1, 1995 TAG: 9501010061
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY JUNE ARNEY, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: VIRGINIA BEACH LENGTH: Long : 135 lines
Last summer, Michele Carrier sent a message to her 14-year-old son Benjamin, killed by a bullet fired by his teenage friend.
Six months after his death, she released three balloons to the heavens. They drifted upward, carrying the phrases ``I love you,'' ``I miss you'' and ``I will always love you.''
``They went straight up,'' she said. ``We knew he was seeing them.''
On Saturday, the first sad anniversary of her son's death on New Year's Eve 1993, she went to the beach and sent him more messages by balloon.
Benjamin Carrier died at the hands of his best friend in a shooting the courts ruled accidental. The name of the boy who shot him is not being published because he is a juvenile.
The friend, 13 at the time of the shooting, pleaded no contest to reckless handling of a firearm and involuntary manslaughter in November. He had been found not innocent in juvenile court and was sentenced in September to six months in the Department of Youth and Family Services. But he appealed to Circuit Court.
He will be resentenced on Jan. 25. He faces a maximum $500 fine and confinement with the Department of Youth and Family Services for up to six months. Counseling and probation are among the other sentencing possibilities.
The boy has said he was sorrymore than once, Michele Carrier said. She tries to understand and forgive. But it isn't easy, she said.
``The anger is still there,'' she said softly. ``I haven't gotten over it.''
Carrier, 43, and her older son, 17-year-old James, are not convinced that the shooting, by a boy who had been her son's best friend for two years, was an innocent mistake.
``James and I believe it wasn't really an accident because the boy knew what he was doing,'' she said. ``(The friend) took out the blank, put in a live round and spun the chamber. It went pow.''
The Carriers think that for a split second, the boy was angry enough to shoot his best friend. Benjamin died after being shot in the head with a
``(The friend) said he thought the barrel was pointed away from Ben,'' Carrier said. ``I find that hard to believe. His father had trained him on gun safety. He knew what he was doing. I feel like (the friend) was angry or jealous for a moment. . . . Like the judge said, `You had to take that gun and aim it and pull the trigger.' ''
The friend, who lived about two blocks from the Carriers, had not been in trouble with the law before, authorities say. Carrier described him as quiet and well-mannered. No drugs or alcohol were involved in the shooting.
Richard H. Doummar, the attorney representing the friend, said there is no way the shooting was anything but an accident.
``These boys were best friends,'' he said. ``You've got a child who is killed by a handgun. I'm sure (the victim's mother) goes through highs and lows on a daily basis. I'm sure she wants to vent what she feels onto someone. I can't blame her, but it was an accident.''
Doummar describes the case as one of his most tragic and troubling.
``Can you imagine what this was like?'' he said. ``They were best friends.''
Michele Carrier remembers relaxing on the couch the night of Dec. 30, 1993. She had just gotten home from work. She waited for a phone call from her son saying he needed a ride.
Instead, a detective knocked on her door. He told her there had been an accident. He needed to ask her questions.
The boys had been together at the friend's house. His parents weren't home. But his father's handgun was in an open gun case. The ammunition was stored below. Benjamin died the day after the shooting.
His father was found guilty of negligence, a misdemeanor, after the shooting. A judge sentenced him to six months but suspended the sentence on the condition of his good behavior for a year.
``If you're going to keep weapons in the house, you need to have them locked up and the ammunition somewhere different,'' Michele Carrier said.
She'd like to see his father serve community service, or perhaps talk to children about the dangers of playing with guns.
Carrier also has ideas about the punishment that should be imposed on the boy who shot her son.
``I'd like to see him go to different schools and talk about what he's done instead of just sitting in detention,'' she said. ``Let the kids see the reality of it. Something has got to be done. The kids (who commit violent acts) are getting younger and younger every day.''
The friend is back in middle school, running track. Something about that bothers Michele Carrier.
``It's like his whole life is back to normal, and ours is never going to be the same,'' she said. ``I've lost my son, and we survive day to day. That's all you can do.''
Yet she knows that the boy's grades dropped after the shooting, that he must be struggling.
``It's got to be messing him up,'' she said. ``How can you shoot someone and not see it every night? I'm not looking for revenge.''
Carrier is ready for the court hearings to end.
``I just want it all over with so we can move on,'' she said. ``Each time we go to court, it dredges it back up.''
The last hearing brought her to court nearly 11 months to the day after her son's shooting. A month earlier, she had her first dream of her son since his death.
``I asked him to come home with me, then I saw a golden handgun between us, and reality hit again,'' she said.
Carrier hopes to send a message to legislators. She wants the laws changed so that adults who leave guns accessible to children are held responsible. She would like to see that youths convicted of gun crimes are punished in ways that may help prevent other such violence. She wants to see public awareness programs for handgun violence.
Carrier will start the new year off with a tribute to her son. She plans to change her license plates to say: LVD U BEN.
She says one of the things she misses most is the sound of his voice.
``You've heard it for 14 years and you start thinking, `If I heard his voice again, would I really know it?' You can't hug him anymore. You can't watch him grow up.''
Year of pain is put to rest ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
This family snapshot shows Benjamin Carrier, left, who died a year
ago Saturday. He is with his mother, Michele, and brother, James.
Color photo
BILL TIERNAN/Staff
Michele and James Carrier release balloons Saturday at Virginia
Beach in memory of Benjamin, who died last New Year's Eve.
Photo
BILL TIERNAN/Staff
Michele Carrier of Virginia Beach hopes that the death of her son
one year ago in a shooting will lead to changes in state laws. She
would like to see youths convicted of gun crimes punished in ways
that may help prevent other such violence.
KEYWORDS: SHOOTING FATALITY ACCIDENT GENERAL by CNB