THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, January 8, 1995 TAG: 9501050381
SECTION: COMMENTARY PAGE: J3 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: GEORGE TUCKER
LENGTH: Medium: 73 lines
Since all of us need a few hearty laughs to prepare ourselves for the uncertainties of the coming year, I'm devoting today's column to several delightful Virginia-oriented anecdotes I recently discovered in a book I received as a Christmas gift.
Titled ``The Wit & Wisdom of Winston Churchill: A Treasury of More Than 1,000 Quotations and Anecdotes,'' the collection was compiled by James C. Humes, a former speech writer for Presidents Eisenhower, Nixon, Ford and Reagan. The book, which sells for $10, is not only a marvelous browsing volume, but a wittily profound tribute to the great British wartime prime minister.
Churchill visited the United States on many occasions, and Humes' first Old Dominion anecdote dates from 1900 when, the 26-year-old recently elected member of Parliament made a speaking tour of this country. In Washington, he was introduced to a physically endowed Richmond dowager who prided herself upon her devotion to the ``lost cause of the Confederacy.'' Her family were Democrats who had opposed the Republican policy of Reconstruction.
Anxious that Churchill should know her sentiments, she remarked as she gave him her hand, ``Mr. Churchill, you see before you a rebel who has not been reconstructed.''
``Madame,'' he replied with a deep bow that surveyed her decolletage, ``reconstruction in your case would be blasphemous.''
Later, when visiting Williamsburg in 1946, Churchill was asked what it felt like to be in a city that played such a great role in the Revolutionary War against the English.
``Revolution against the English!'' Churchill thundered, ``Nay, it was a reaffirmation of English rights. Englishmen battling a Hun king (i.e., George III) and his Hessian hirelings to protect their English birthright. Such a struggle against a German despot is a scene not unfamiliar to English-speaking peoples who twice this century have triumphed over Teutonic tyranny!''
Even so, as a loyal subject of his queen, Churchill expressed some reservations regarding the latter-day glorification of the Colonial cause. Asked to speak at a celebration at Yorktown in honor of its role in achieving the victory that guaranteed the 13 colonies their independence, he quipped, ``I would be glad to oblige, but not to celebrate.''
Also, during Churchill's 1946 visit a memorial sculpture of him was dedicated in Richmond. When he was shaking hands in the receiving line a southern lady of Rubenesque proportions gushed, ``Mr. Churchill, I want you to know I got up at dawn and drove a hundred miles for the unveiling of your bust.''
``Madame,'' replied Churchill, gazing down at her ample bosom, ``I want you to know that I would happily reciprocate the honor.''
Although the last anecdote didn't happen within the bounds of the Old Dominion, it involved one of its natives, thereby justifying its inclusion here.
Lady Nancy Astor (nee Langhorne) was a native Virginian who became Britain's first female member of the House of Commons. In the 1930s, she headed a clique in that body that found something to admire in Hitler's Germany. Churchill was horrified and described an Astorite as an appeaser ``who feeds the crocodile hoping that it will eat him last.''
Shortly thereafter, Churchill found himself at Clivedon, the Astor's country home. After dinner Lady Astor presided over the pouring of coffee. When Churchill came by, she glared and remarked, ``Winston, if I were your wife, I'd put poison in your coffee.''
``Nancy,'' Churchill replied archly, ``if I were your husband, I'd drink it!'' ILLUSTRATION: Photo
The book ``The Wit & Wisdom of Winston Churchill: A Treasury of More
Than 1,000 Quotations and Anecdotes,'' is a tribute to Britain's
wartime prime minister.
by CNB