THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Tuesday, January 10, 1995 TAG: 9501100297
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: Marc Tibbs
LENGTH: Medium: 69 lines
Reports are in from the Pat Southall/Martin Lawrence wedding, and now I know just why my mother always told me: ``Weddings are for girls. We just let the boys come.''
Picture it: Pat walking down the aisle, pageant-trained and resplendent in a knockout wedding gown. Her hazel eyes piercing through the soft veil, which hangs over her face like a pretense - barely shielding her radiant beauty yet drawing attention to it all the while.
A hush falls over the 600 or so guests, and suddenly 1,200 eyes bathe her with adulation. This is her moment! The moment girls have dreamed of for 1,000 years.
Her beau, funnyman Martin Lawrence, holds his breath, waits and watches. I imagine he can hardly believe what he's seeing. She's even more beautiful than when they first met. Brides are always that way, but this one belongs to him.
Pat completes her ascension and Martin utters under his breath the one phrase that comes to his mind:
``You look so damn good!''
His words have the effect of fingernails across a blackboard, a needle scratching a phonograph record.
What a dumb boy thing to say. My mother was right. There's a reason weddings are for girls.
In some ways, the phrase was typical ``Martin.'' He of the ``You So Crazy,'' fame. For him, ``You look so damn good,'' was probably his most natural reaction.
It's the kind of phrase one would expect to hear on his half-hour sitcom. Pat's shining moment, however, was hardly the place to utter such slang platitudes.
But being a boy myself, how can I really blame him?
Reports are that Pat was a ``fairy tale'' bride.
``He probably hadn't planned to say anything,'' said one well-wisher, ``but she was really breathtaking. She was simply gorgeous. I was overwhelmed, and I'm a woman.''
Then there's the matter of the couple's first dance.
Martin whisked his new bride around the dance floor - his hand planted firmly on her hips.
``It was just so un-gentlemanly,'' said a family friend.
Martin and Pat, now honeymooning in the Caribbean, tied the knot at a much-ballyhooed affair Saturday at Norfolk's Waterside Marriott. The wedding was moved there from Portsmouth's Third Baptist Church after someone threatened to bomb the church.
Bomb the church? Sounds like the musings of a bad Hollywood scriptwriter. Must have been one of the thousands who would have obviously done just about anything to get a ticket.
Sources say the threat actually may have been linked to a fracas the bridegroom found himself involved in during his bachelor party at a Virginia Beach nightclub.
There, amidst the nude dancing girls and champagne, a patron offered to buy Lawrence a drink, which the comic refused. Reports are still sketchy, but an argument ensued between the man and Lawrence's bodyguards. Bottles were thrown and glasses went flying through the air, said one of the party organizers.
Another typical boy thing, my mother would surely say. MEMO: Wedding was moved because of threats/B7
ILLUSTRATION: Comedian Martin Lawrence should have stuck to ``I do'' when he
married Pat Southall.
by CNB