THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, January 13, 1995 TAG: 9501120161
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 04 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY GARY EDWARDS, CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Long : 102 lines
Karen Gulbranson is a rarity, a feminist with a wildly irreverent sense of humor.
She can write about human waste, the governmental variety and the biological. She can be wickedly funny about both, without being tasteless about the latter.
Here's Gulbranson (accent on the second syllable, ``gulBRANson'') on the idea of citizen funding for the Clintons' legal problems. She offered 10 alternatives, among them:
Bill Clinton playing the sax on Pennsylvania Avenue, tin cup in hand; Hillary standing in front of the White House with a sign saying, ``Will Grant Political Favors for Cash''; the Clintons holding a bake sale - as long as Hillary didn't have to bake the cookies; the Clintons asking Rush Limbaugh for a loan.
Gulbranson has written columns containing such pungent provocations since December 1992 for ``Soundings,'' a Navy newspaper in Norfolk. In that short time, she has won awards and a faithful readership. Tony Macrini and Sarah Trexler of WNIS radio call Gulbranson ``their favorite female columnist.''
``She's an excellent writer,'' said Macrini, ``a very bright woman. Someone sent us some of her columns and I read them on the air.''
She's become the poet laureate of WNIS.
Gulbranson can poke fun at herself as adeptly as she does at others.
She recently ran an ad in Editor and Publisher, a newspaper trade publication, to self-syndicate her column.
``So far, I have one newspaper,'' she said, with a self-deprecating laugh. ``I'm not exactly knocking them dead - yet.
``I want to talk to syndicates and other publications. We'll see.''
Her column, ``That's Life,'' began at the request of Soundings editor David Stump.
Although Gulbranson had reservations, Stump never did. She was a natural from the start, he said.
``She has an acerbic wit and a human side,'' Stump said.
The Virginia Beach writer read about a Northern Virginia man who climbed into his car and felt droplets falling through his open sunroof. As Gulbranson pointed out, it wasn't pennies from heaven. It was ``Straight Poop from the Friendly Skies,'' the headline of the column.
Gulbranson went on to discuss the ``D'' word, calling it ``one of the most descriptive and versatile words in the English language . . . working equally well as a noun, verb and adjective.'' She realizes it might be considered ``indelicate'' of her to write about it, but ends the column by reminding us that ``doo-doo happens.''
After only five columns, Gulbranson's efforts won her second place in a national competition sponsored by the Association of Free Community Newspapers. She has since won first place for humor in the Virginia Press Women's 1994 Communications Contest, and an award from the National Federation of Press Women's 1994 Communications Contest.
Like most writers, Gulbranson spent years preparing for her overnight success.
``I've been writing my whole life,'' said Gulbranson. ``I won my first competition at 12, against 18-year-olds. I wrote an essay, something like, What It Means To Be An American.''
The Washington, D.C., native planned on studying journalism and was accepted at the University of Tennessee during her senior year in high school. She backed out at the last minute. A teenage romance derailed her academic pursuits.
``I always regretted not going,'' she said.
At 34, the divorced mother of two put the regret behind her. She entered Old Dominion University in January 1988 and finished a four-year degree in two. She graduated first in her class with a perfect 4.0 grade point average in interdisciplinary studies with a concentration in public relations. She was picked Outstanding University Scholar.
``I took journalism, public relations, psychology and marketing courses,'' Gulbranson said.
``When I decided to go back to school, I heard a speaker say, `If you take risks, something bad might happen, but if you don't take risks, nothing happens.''
When Gulbranson isn't working on a ``That's Life'' column, she stays busy with marketing. She and two partners, Cathy Midkiff and Jeff Ringer, started Integrated Marketing Group last summer.
She likes the change of pace.
``I enjoy the variety that comes with doing both,'' Gulbranson said. ``I like the business world. And most of the people we deal with would be surprised about the side of me that can be sarcastic, caustic enough to write those columns.
``I like the freedom of a column. I write by ear and try to capture a conversational tone. But, the downside is, when a reader attacks, they're attacking you.''
She admires Dave Barry, the Pulitzer-winning syndicated columnist, but said she has no other influences. And she seems to have learned early on one of the great lessons all writers learn:
``I started writing a column and every week another is due.'' ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo by MORT FRYMAN
``I like the freedom of a column,'' says Karen Gulbranson, whose
``That's Life'' column appears in ``Soundings,'' a Navy newspaper in
Norfolk. ``I write by ear and try to capture a conversational tone.
But, the downside is, when a reader attacks, they're attacking
you.''
by CNB