THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, January 20, 1995 TAG: 9501200521
SECTION: FRONT PAGE: A1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY MAL VINCENT, ENTERTAINMENT WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 103 lines
Editor's note: Staff writer Mal Vincent, who has covered entertainment for three decades for The Virginian-Pilot and The Ledger-Star, first interviewed George Burns back when the stogie-smoking comic was barely eligible for Social Security. This appreciation is based on their conversations.
``I don't believe in dying,'' George Burns said as his laughing eyes peered through his thick glasses. ``I'm looking for a new exit. I'm not interested in dying. I've died often enough on stage. Besides, I can't die, I'm booked.''
Just to prove it, he's celebrating his 99th birthday today - an event that might be described as a preliminary, even minor, occasion considering he's booked right up until the big one - his 100th birthday - and beyond. The vaudevillian who played the Creator (as a tennis-shoed, cap-wearing wisecracker in ``Oh, God'') is most prized for playing himself.
He couldn't grant an interview for the day; waves of alarm went out when he canceled a Caesar's Palace appearance in Las Vegas.
However, Burns made a brief appearance in Los Angeles on Thursday, saying, ``When you're 99, it's nice to be anywhere.'' And his press reps sent word that he expects to stick around for his future bookings.
The day does bring back memories of Burnsisms from other years, though. Burns once told me, ``I use the same lines over and over anyway. You'll laugh. I can tell. You're a laugher. I can spot them a mile away. The thing that peeves, though, is that you don't have to buy a ticket for an interview. You get it free.''
First comes the smoke. Then the cigar. Then the spectacles. He dashes cigar ashes as he growls, at Caesar's Palace, that his general theory for happiness is ``a good martini, a good cigar, a good meal and a good woman - or a bad woman, depending on just how much happiness you can take.''
``My memory is as good as it ever was. I can always remember what's written on the check. If the figure is right, I can remember everything. If not, I can't remember anything,'' he said.
Burns, who won an Oscar for ``The Sunshine Boys,'' said: ``I learned that you can act while sitting down. I always had to stand up to sing. I've been doing drama for years. People used to cry when I'd get up to sing. Once I had a contract for three performances at $5 each and the theater manager offered me $20 not to do it. I took it.''
He always chuckles just before flicking his cigar and taking another puff.
He married Gracie Allen in 1926. ``I owed her $200,'' he said. ``Gracie married me to be sure she could collect. When I married Gracie, I retired. I'd say, `Gracie, how's your brother?' and she talked for 38 years. That was retirement for me. When Gracie retired, I had to go back to work.''
In one of his few serious moments, he speaks of Gracie, who died in 1964, and tells about how he visits her grave once a month. ``I talk to her and tell her how I'm doing. I try out some of the jokes on her and ask her to put in a good word for me up there.''
Interviewing comedians is one of the more harrowing jobs in covering show business. They are usually ultra-neurotic, and they seldom read funny. George Burns is an exception. His dry delivery never begs for a laugh, and his emphasis on the nonphysical means that his material needs no description. ``Physical? Who needs to try that? Who CAN try that?'' he once questioned.
Asked to describe a typical day, George Burns, at age 89, did it this way:
``I get eight hours of sleep, but I stay in bed longer. I get up at about 8. For me, there's no such thing as getting out of bed on the wrong side. At my age, to get out of bed at all is an achievement.
``I walk around the bed once. That's my workout.
``I'm usually in my office by 10 a.m. to work with the writers. In vaudeville, Gracie and I could work up one routine and make money for 10 years. Now, with television, you're supposed to have a new routine every time out. That's why I hired writers. They're paid very well. I usually tell them what to write.''
At noon, he goes to the Hillcrest Country Club in Beverly Hills to have lunch. From 1 to 3 p.m., he plays bridge.
``A lot of my old partners are dead. Jack Benny used to play, but I had trouble with Jack. Bridge requires concentration and Jack would break up laughing at everything I said. I never had a better audience than Jack. Now, some of my partners' hearing aids don't work so good.
``Sometimes,'' he added, ``I find three young girls to fill out the table. Finding bridge partners and doctors is an increasing problem. Most of my doctors, the ones who kept telling me to stop smoking cigars, are dead. Then I go back home and from 3 to 5 every afternoon I take a nap. Then I get up and go out on a date.''
At interviews, he's often accompanied by statuesque blondes. On one occasion, he introduced his date. ``This is Cathy Carr,'' he said. ``I've been dating her for about four years.'' He added, in a lower voice, ``Cathy is from a very rich family. I'm after her money. She knows that.''
He chuckled.
Through the years, we gathered opinions from other folks.
Don Rickles: ``George Burns is a living legend - well, a legend anyhow.''
Bob Hope: ``The first time I saw George Burns on stage I could see he had what it takes to become a big star - Gracie Allen.''
Walter Matthau: ``I did `The Sunshine Boys' with George, and everything I know about acting I learned from Jack Lemmon.''
Told about the comments, Burns commented: ``I've beat most of them in bridge. Most of them owe me money, so they have to like me.'' ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
AP/File
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