THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, January 29, 1995 TAG: 9501290045
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Elizabeth Simpson
LENGTH: Medium: 68 lines
So Big Bird, my feathered friend. Have you noticed the feel of something cold and metallic and circular against your canary-yellow forehead lately?
Could it be the barrel of a gun the folks in public television are holding to your head while shrieking to Congress: ``Give us tax dollars or we're gonna off the big yellow bird.''
It's weird, though - I don't notice you sweating.
Maybe it's because you're sitting pretty in a nest feathered by the mega-millions that roll in from Big Bird pajamas and Cookie Monster pillow cases.
And you know if we don't catch you on the public-TV station, we'll meet you in the toy-store aisle where all your videos are on sale.
It's a shame the people who run public TV and radio don't feel so confident.
Mention privatization and they run screaming from the room. Attack their money-management practices and they're off producing ever-longer ``public service announcements'' to cry in their cappuccino. Bring up cutbacks and they're commissioning polls that say people don't just oppose cutbacks, they want more federal money for public television.
Give me a break.
I have always supported federal funding for public TV and radio. But these are times that try the nation's pocketbook. We're all struggling with our budgets, not just in Richmond and on Capitol Hill, but at home, too.
At the risk of sounding like I'm robbing an entire crew of lovable puppets, I support making some cuts. It doesn't take much looking around to see that it's not just the wasteful and the frivolous that's taking a hit this year.
Head Start's under the gun. Meals on Wheels is getting squeezed. State colleges and universities are up against shortfalls like they've never faced before. Pick up the paper and you can find something new every day that's in jeopardy.
Just like all the other worthy programs that are taking it on the chin this year, public broadcasting needs to take a harder look at becoming more economically sound.
That means at least entertaining the idea of privatization. OK, so maybe it won't work, but don't dismiss it out of hand. Instead of shuddering at the thought of anything vaguely commercial, take a hint from the producers of Big Bird.
Walk down a toy-store aisle and look at the Big Bird sheets, the Bert and Ernie dolls, the Elmo coloring books and the Cookie Monster cookie jars.
Clearly, we don't mind a dose of commercialization as long as it's done right.
If all this hand-wringing over budget cuts has done nothing else, it's at least waved some smelling salts under the nose of bigwig executives. Last week the Corporation for Public Broadcasting voted to start demanding a cut of the profits from sales of toys, clothing and other goods related to public-broadcasting programs.
What an idea.
Why in the world did it take this long to put the concept in writing?
And where has all that money been going all this time, anyway?
Big Bird, please remind your buddies that the key to success is to keep light on your big orange feet, to open yourself to possibilities and to stay hip.
Because it's not lack of tax dollars that should make a big celebrity like you sweat. It's the shadow of that purple guy named Barney. by CNB