THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, February 12, 1995 TAG: 9502090074
SECTION: REAL LIFE PAGE: K6 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: REAL LOVE
SOURCE: BY JANE HARPER, SPECIAL TO REAL LIFE
LENGTH: Medium: 94 lines
ANYONE PASSING Gayle and Jim Herwig on the road can tell how they feel about each other.
It's spelled out on the license plates of the Norfolk couple's Ford station wagon: ``WER4EVER.''
``We believe that our marriage is not just for time alone, but that it has the ability to last an eternity as long as we keep our marriage vows and covenants,'' explains Jim.
The Herwigs are a Navy couple in a Navy town, but they are by no means typical.
Jim, a customer liaison in the Navy's public works center, and Gayle, who works in the Navy's housing department, just celebrated their 22nd wedding anniversary on Dec. 11 and 12.
No, that's not a misprint. They indeed have two anniversary days a year. For reasons unclear even to the Herwigs, their marriage license from Micronesia lists both days as their official wedding date.
``We just start celebrating on the 11th and stop on the 12,'' Gayle said.
That's not the only thing different about them. They have lived in homes in three countries, including some that have been seaworthy, and one that disintegrated after a shipwreck.
They also have built a huge, close-knit family of 10 children and 13 grandchildren, with three new grandchildren due in the next several months.
The children started as ``hers'' and ``his'' and even ``someone else's,'' but have become ``theirs'' over the years. Five are from Gayle's first marriage and two are from Jim's first go-round.
The other three were unofficially ``adopted'' by the couple when they lived in the Philippines. The Herwigs befriended all three and later helped them move to the United States. One now works for the U.S. Postal Service.
``It's sometimes hard to keep track,'' Gayle said as she and Jim struggled to count all their grandchildren. ``But I think we're in a real close family.''
Gayle and Jim met in December 1969 when both were living in Guam. Jim was working as a Navy power plant electrician; Gayle had been a police reporter for the Pacific Daily News since moving overseas with her first husband, who was in the Air Force.
The couple first caught each other's eyes at a Mormon church they attended in Guam.
``He had this thick head of hair - coal black hair - it was beautiful,'' Gayle said as she looked across the room at Jim's now gray, but still thick, head of hair.
``I think what caught my eye was her personality, her vivaciousness,'' said Jim.
They soon discovered that they had a lot in common, especially their adventurous natures. They both love the water, exploring historical sites and studying the many cultures they came upon during their travels.
Age was not a common denominator, however. Gayle, who is in her 50s, is eight years older than Jim. And while neither sees the difference as an obstacle in their relationship, Gayle admits to being somewhat sensitive about it. Jim says it never has bothered him.
``I have a lot of respect for her and the maturity she has,'' Jim said. ``Physically, she's more volatile than me.''
The couple spent the first 16 years of their marriage in Guam and the Philippines before moving to Norfolk six years ago.
The marriage wasn't always an easy one, especially with so many children and stepchildren, and because of their keen desire to experiment in life.
There was the time, for example, when Gayle and Jim decided that it would be an adventure to sell most of their belongings and move onto a sailboat.
While three of the four children living with them at the time enjoyed their Pacific odyssey, one of Gayle's daughters, then a teenager, didn't like the cramped quarters and lack of privacy.
``It's not an easy situation,'' Jim said. ``You can't just stop and take a break. You sail until you get here. You have to depend on each other a lot. You have to trust each other.''
Now that their children are grown and have moved away, Gayle and Jim travel more than ever. They especially love to take off on the spur of the moment.
``The only thing that limits us now is our physical limitations,'' Jim said. ``Mentally we're just as adventurous as we've ever been.''
When they were younger, that spirit took them to famous World War II settings in the Pacific. Now it means a frequent outing to Washington or Williamsburg.
The couple believes their marriage is stronger than ever. After having gone through a divorce, they've worked hard on this relationship.
``We've had a lot going for us,'' Jim said. ``We have a lot in common. We have similar beliefs, and we have a common religious background. That has been key.'' MEMO: Jane Harper is a free-lance writer living in Norfolk. ILLUSTRATION: Photo
L. TODD SPENCER
A shared spirit of adventure helped unite Jim and Gayle Herwig, who
have been married for 22 years.
by CNB