THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Thursday, February 16, 1995 TAG: 9502140076
SECTION: FLAVOR PAGE: F1 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY BROWN H. CARPENTER, STAFF WRITER
LENGTH: Long : 119 lines
A FINE MEAL is something to share. A vintage wine goes with stimulating conversation.
A perfect souffle, a lightly grilled salmon or a rare-cooked cut of aged Chicago tenderloin beef were not meant to be eaten alone.
But what if you live by yourself, don't have a significant other or aren't dating anyone? Maybe you feel a little blue requesting a table for one.
The Single Gourmet to the rescue.
The club for lone diners was organized in Hampton Roads seven winters ago. And just about every week, about 25 to 50 unattached, mostly middle-aged folks say so long to solitude, and enjoy one another's company for an evening of food and drink.
Not only that, they break bread without encountering married people, engaged couples, or even folks on a date.
Single means single, says Ethel-Raye Greenspan, the founder and one-woman energy source behind the Single Gourmet.
Arrive at the weekly feasts alone, she says, although sharing a ride is acceptable.
Not that romance is discouraged. It does happen.
``We've had 12 weddings since we got started,'' Greenspan says. ``They don't come back. They have each other now.''
The gatherings are not impromptu. Members pay dues ($85 for the first year, $55 annually thereafter) and must pay for individual full-course meals.
Guests are welcome for one dinner, but are charged an extra $10. The ten-spot is credited toward the first year's dues should the guest decide to join, Greenspan says. Objective: socialize
Club members seem motivated by a desire to get out and to socialize - not by a search for a mate.
``You get to eat at nice restaurants and meet interesting people,'' says Louise Petitt of Richmond.
Petitt, who works for an insurance company, joined the Richmond club (also managed by Greenspan) about four years ago. ``The conversations can range from the interesting to the sublime,'' Petitt says.
``It's not a dating service. I will go to a restaurant by myself but I prefer the companionship.''
Pettit says she attends Single Gourmet functions about once a month.
Jim Butler of Chesapeake joined the Single Gourmet about four years ago. Butler, a civil-service employee who describes himself as ``a cheeseburger guy'' says the club has allowed him to cross some culinary thresholds.
``You get a chance to see some really nice restaurants,'' he says. ``If I hadn't joined, I wouldn't have gone to these restaurants.
``Also, in today's society you have your working group of friends or your immediate peers. I wanted to get out and meet different people.''
Peggy Bradford of Virginia Beach says the club is ideal for the single woman who is reticent to dine out alone. ``I wouldn't go out like this unless I had a date,'' she says.
She also thinks the concept takes a lot of the bother out of eating out. ``Everything's taken care of for you. You walk in, enjoy yourself and walk out. There's no gratuity, no paying of bills. The club takes care of the negative side of going out to eat.''
Indeed, a recent Thursday evening for the singles at La Galleria in downtown Norfolk revealed a buoyant, chatty group of about 25; women outnumbered men by about two to one.
Greenspan says women outnumber men as dues-paying members, but some functions bring out an equal or greater number of males.
The Single Gourmets like to dress for the occasion: jewelry, cocktail dresses, sports coats and ties. Looking for love
Some members find romance at club dinners. One member said he stopped attending while he dated another member but returned when they broke up.
Another said she dated a man she met at dinner. Occasionally they showed up together for Single Gourmet functions.
But, new members beware, Greenspan will foil the plans if those who bring a dinner date: She arranges the seating, and you find your place card.
``I mix them up,'' she said. And your table companion last month will not be next to you this month.
In fact, watching Greenspan in action at the dinners is worth the price of admission. She remembers everyone's name without looking at notes. She introduces everyone - first names only - during the cocktail hour.
Greenspan says the age of the membership falls into the 30-to-60 range. Although no survey has been taken, those congregating at La Galleria said most of the diners are divorced or widowed and the club is a good way to get back into circulation.
Greenspan manages the Single Gourmet for a living, directly supervising the local club and hiring someone else to oversee Richmond's Single Gourmet. The Hampton Roads club boasts 300 members. ``There are 20 or so chapters in the United States and Canada, more than 10,000 overall,'' Greenspan said.
The chapters are virtually independent entities. There is no central headquarters. Greenspan, a Norfolk native, got the idea after attending a chapter dinner in San Diego. ``I've loved it ever since,'' she said. ``I met some wonderful people. It attracts real quality people. We go to the better restaurants. We don't always eat gourmet but we always eat well.
``People come alone usually. It's reservations-only. The price of the dinner includes a full course. Alcoholic beverages are cash.
``We eat family-style with bowls on the table. Over a year, we hit every night of the week. Weekends, too. We've been almost everywhere in the last seven years. There are no repetitions within the year.''
This year's schedule of restaurants has included Alexander's on the Bay, the Bistro at Le Chambord and Mahi Mah's, all in Virginia Beach; the Trellis in Williamsburg; and even the homey Orapax Inn in Norfolk.
Payment must be made a week before the dinner. Cancellations may be made three days before the event.
Greenspan plans dinner two months in advance with the chefs. ``They know me,'' she said. ``We plan the entrees with the restaurant's menu in mind. Then I put it all in the newsletter.''
``What we do is get together over a good meal in a restaurant,'' Greenspan said. ``Eating is a very sociable activity.'' MEMO: Interested in the Single Gourmet? Call 623-0687.
ILLUSTRATION: JANET SHAUGHNESSY/Staff
by CNB