THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, February 26, 1995 TAG: 9502230151
SECTION: CAROLINA COAST PAGE: 05 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY JOHN HARPER
CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Medium: 84 lines
Most police officers will tell you that a response to a ``domestic disturbance'' is their most unpleasant - not to mention dangerous - call.
Usually, it's a verbal or physical fight between a husband and wife. More often than not, alcohol is involved.
Officers must bring clarity and calm to a situation fueled by passion and anger. And it's not easy to tell the good guys from the bad guys.
Sometimes, one or both of the combatants is taken to jail. But what if there are children in the home? Who cares for the kids?
That's Susan Nelson's job. Nelson is the director of Dare County's foster care services, and it is her responsibility to find appropriate care for children living in a dangerous or unstable situation.
Since there is not a group home in Dare County, the children are placed in foster homes.
And there is a policy for dealing with children living in a volatile home environment.
A social worker investigates the situation. If it is determined that the child is not in danger, the case is closed. Usually in these cases, Nelson and the other social workers provide family and marriage counseling.
But often, after the initial investigation, social workers decide the child is in danger and should be removed from the home. The decision is made after a court hearing.
At any given time in Dare County, 25 to 30 children are in foster care. And every foster parent is trained by Nelson.
Nelson is always looking for a few good men and women to become foster parents. She recently completed a basic-training course for 11 new foster parents. The course is required by state law.
Foster parents care for neglected or abused children from a few weeks to a year. But they don't replace birth parents, Nelson says.
``The birth parents often have reasons for their behavior,'' Nelson says. ``But it is our belief that children should be with their birth parents.''
Nelson is the liaison between foster parents and birth parents. She meets with both sets of parents at least once a week. She also sets a visitation schedule for the birth parents and the children.
And all the while, there is healing. Birth parents learn to control drinking or drugs, and they learn how to deal with anger. Children learn how to forgive their parents. And foster parents learn how to care for children that are not theirs.
But sometimes, when the process is over, it's hard for foster parents to let go.
``You've given these children your emotional strength for weeks, even months, and then they're gone,'' Nelson says.
Nelson says that's part of the process, and part of her job is helping foster parents deal with the loss.
``Our people have been screened,'' she says. ``They know that the child is better off with their birth parents.''
Why do the men and women, who work under anonymity, become foster parents?
``Most people say if they can help one child in Dare County,'' Nelson says, ``it's worth it.''
Foster parents are paid for their services, but the pay is not much: $350 a year for each child.
The foster parent system works well in Dare County, Nelson says. Children placed in foster care return to birth parents in 90 percent of the cases.
And what of the other 10 percent?
Nelson says sometimes a child is ready for independent living. Other times, after a court hearing, the birth parents' rights are terminated and the child is placed with an adoptive family.
Nelson stresses that even though her new foster parent trainees are ready, there is always a need for more foster parents.
``The more foster parents we have,'' Nelson says, ``the better chance we have of finding a fit between child and foster parents.'' MEMO: For more information on foster parenting, call Dare County social worker
Susan Nelson at 473-1471.
ILLUSTRATION: Photo by ROBIE RAY
Susan Nelson, director of Dare County's foster care services, finds
foster homes for children and trains foster parents.
by CNB